Tag: shame

Discernment

Warning: Long fear shame rant.

As Christians, can we just stop claiming everyone has a spirit of fear if that person feels “OFF” or negatively “AWARE” of something and we don’t?

Next time you want to spank someone for “fear” why don’t you first stop the judgment and offer to pray to see what God is saying about the situation?

At times, I have been accused of having a spirit of fear, meaning I was being paranoid about nothing. The person I was speaking to wasn’t on the same channel as me. Then later I found out I was right. It truly was something or SOMEONE that I needed to stop, drop, avoid or take spiritual authority over.

30 years ago when I was an atheist, I frequented a Burger King by my apartment. I kept telling people there was something off about the guy at the drive-thru window. One late night, as I handed him my money, I locked eyes with him and we both jumped! I some how knew he was evil, and he knew he was busted!

2 days later, on a local news channel, they showed him being arrested at his job for murdering his girlfriend and disposing of her body several months earlier. God was even showing me back then what was up.

Fast forward 5 years ago, I was the last person to leave work and was locking up when a man walked into the building with his 5-year-old daughter looking for a catalog of our products. He told me he was in the area and wanted to add some of our products to his very successful internet store. I got creeped out even though he was with his daughter and told him to come back in the morning.

I told some friends later that I felt like he was lying and they were like Jeanne! He came in with a kid! Yes, and Ted Bundy was an attractive man with a fake cast on his arm. Not everything is as it appears to be.

Several days later, he was on the local news as the police were looking for him. He was from New York and was running some local scam listing and selling products from high-end manufacturers that he never shipped.

God has given us our emotions for a reason. Sometimes the fear or “heightened awareness” you feel is truly from God and warranted, even if other people don’t agree with you.

Or the fear is a warning.
Or a time for discernment.
Or maybe it’s false and trying to stop you from what God has planned for you.

But…FEAR is always a reason to stop, discern, and take action. Even if that action is to send the false fear away.

Ask God for discernment and what YOU should do next. Just because another person doesn’t agree with you doesn’t mean God isn’t speaking directly to YOU about the situation.

Several times in the last month I have MISSED it, because I let others talk me out of what I was picking up. MISSED IT!!!!!!

Don’t ignore your Spiritual Spidey Sense

Sometimes it isn’t FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL.

Fear shame rant over peeps!

Happy Mother’s Day, Mama Bears!

Memories

Warning long ramble:

Ever shudder when a bad memory surfaces where you said or did something idiotic? Or hurtful? Or illegal?

You suddenly feel a stomach punch. Or a butt clench. Or your cheeks turn red. As Nick Danger used to say “like a hot kiss at the end of a wet fist.” It feels horrible, and it surprised you, but you still react like it just happened.

I had one of those memorable moments the other day. Even though it was 30 years ago, I felt extreme shame and guilt all over again. I had to take control of it or it would have turned into a 2-hour self-hate fest. Ever felt like that? A friend told me he has laid awake at night kicking himself over some stupid stuff that he can never reverse. “Did it make you feel better?” “No. It brought up a train of past scenes that reminded me of what a horrible ass I was.” Hmmm, so why go back? Or better yet, why can’t we stop ourselves from going back there?

Do you want to know how to fix this? Next time that happens, stop mid-self-punishment and say “This is irrelevant. I am no longer that person. It doesn’t matter anymore.” Then thank God that it was years ago before anyone could live-stream it in the making. Even if it was yesterday or you have already made your 15 minutes of fame on YouTube, let it go. You need to stop the pattern of spanking yourself over shit that went down when you were high, horny, hateful, hormonal, or a revenge-raged ex-lover.

We think we have 3 volumes in our life. Past. Present. Future. The truth is, all we have is now. RIGHT NOW. This very moment. No matter what you are doing, it will always be right now…and you will always be in the present moment. You may lament about the past or fear about the future, BUT you are never anywhere else but in the present. (Don’t come for me, you teleporting peeps…. you’d still be in the present even if you were simultaneously in the future).

Even if your hairstyle hasn’t changed, you still love Boonesfarm, pop tarts, and the Grateful Dead, you are still a new person at this very moment. Even if you did the same mistake today, it would still NOT be the same. Think about that one.

You hear about celebrities reinventing themselves. (Gee, anything to get some press) You are no different and are continually reinventing yourself too. Your thoughts, body, cells, beliefs, and values are always changing and moving forward (even if it is backward behavior.) You can’t go backward if you are here… now.

You change with your circumstances. So why hold on to circumstances that no longer fit? Or are no longer relevant? That was the old you. Even if it was yesterday.

Repeat after me . “That is irrelevant. I am no longer that person. I don’t even know who that person was because that is something I definitely would not or even could do today. At this very moment. Or even conceive of doing in my next present moment that will come in the near future.

OMG. I wish she would just stick to funny memes instead of these long rambling notes to herself. Lord, that is 5 minutes I will never get back and…… STOP!

Ha, see even the post you just read is NOW in the past… move forward peeps, and get rid of anything that does NOT matter anymore.

End scene. Enjoy your present moment, Beloveds. It’s all we have, anyway.