Many years ago my very wise older sister Kathy stopped me cold mid-rant and said “Do you need permission?”
“What?” “Do you need permission not to involve yourself with this person any more? I give you permission to just stop subjecting yourself to this person’s abuse and end the friendship.”
I was dumbfounded at first. Then relieved! I ended it that day and said goodbye to the drama. I guess I just needed someone to say that it was okay because I couldn’t myself. Ever feel like that?
Why is it that we sometimes hang on to old stuff, new stuff or even someone else’s stuff that isn’t working for us? Why do we feel we have to continue to struggle to make things work? Or to fix things? Especially with people who are crazy-making companions at best? Sometimes it takes too much energy to pretend someone’s behavior is well…normal. I think because there is something inside of us that wants to complete something that we started. Cross the T’s. Dot the i’s. Finish off the chips. Make sense of it all.
Sometimes it is good for us to finish everything we started and sometimes it is just plain wrong. Can anyone hear me out there about this? God isn’t expecting us to fix anyone or any situation. Only He can do that.
You aren’t a failure if you can’t or don’t want to hang in there to see something through that was never your burden to bear in the first place. Sometimes it starts out good and we don’t see the crazy card until we are well into the game. Or sometimes we have invested too much of our own secrets or given up too much of ourselves to another person and dread what would happen if all of this ended. Abruptly. What would be exposed? So we hang on to something that should have been cut off years ago, worrying about our reputations and our other 6 degrees of separation and hang on to madness just to protect ourselves. But if you can’t fix something, you can’t also protect yourself if someone decides to GO there for whatever reason. I have people who still talk about me from years ago. Now, I just call it free publicity.
Don’t worry. I give you permission today to stop anything that isn’t working for you. I promise you God will pick up the pieces and make wrong out of right. If He is for you anyone who is against you will not win in the end!
I really feel like there are a couple of people who need to hear this today.
Life here on earth is way to short too throw pearls before swine. Give it up and give it to God. Tell the person you are taking a break. Giving it a rest. An indefinite pause. Time to let go of the lies, abuse and negativity. Time to let go of someone or something that is holding you up or holding you back.
Time to break the news. Even if the person you are breaking it to, is yourself.