Do You

A friend commented once, “Well, a person can always tell where they stand with you. If you didn’t like me it would be glaringly obvious!” I was surprised as I always thought I had a poker face. This was years ago and when I relayed the story to my therapist, he laughed.

My. Therapist. Laughed.

Dr.L, “Oh, sorry…you’re serious! No, I would say that is not true. You wear your heart on your sleeve and your annoyance definitely on your face!” “”I do?” I laughed today as I thought about this. We can all be so clueless about ourselves.

As I get older I have just made peace with myself. I will never be blonde or petite. Never be patient. Never be calm 24/7. Especially not in a drive-thru. What you see is what you get …..for right now. But I am totally ok with that. Are you? With you? Ha! I hope you are all nodding; Why, yes. Yes, I am.

You might be thinking “New man! New man in Christ, Jeanne. Stop speaking that old you back from the dead.”

Oh my, close that pie hole, beloved! (See right there I stopped myself from using more fun and colorful words!). If you knew me years ago, you would see that a lot of me has changed. For the better.

Part of moving on from the old man is not continuing to spank yourself because you aren’t 100% perfect. And may never be! Stop going back and reliving bad stories about yourself. Unless it’s a testimony to give God glory or a good laugh because you aren’t that person anymore. Be thankful, FB and Return Of The Karens on Youtube wasn’t invented when you were doing stupid #$%$.

Aggh see there I go again….

Ready To Pivot

I heard “MOVE OVER” and immediately turned my wheel in the direction of the curb just as a car in the left lane crossed over into mine. By 2 feet! The driver quickly corrected the error and got back into their lane. If I hadn’t immediately moved over when I heard the command, they would have hit me!

What did “MOVE OVER” sound like? Just like my own thoughts, only very matter-of-fact. So I reacted on autopilot. Kind of like, “Dunkin Donuts! Drive-thru for Cold Brew!”

I am still amazed that my vehicle moved over to the precise spot to avoid the accident. Like Jesus had taken over the wheel (OMG, don’t start singing that song in your head.)

One time Dan and I were driving back from Iowa. I saw a woman coming down a very long entrance ramp onto 35W. Her head was turned as she was yelling at someone in the backseat. God said to me “She doesn’t see you. Move over, she doesn’t see you.” So I relayed this to Dan and he got upset. “We have the right of way. Relax! I know how to drive! ” I kept one eye on her car and continued to plead with him to move over, but, he wouldn’t budge. He told me I was being paranoid because I had been in a serious car accident. As the woman came off the ramp, Dan had to swerve into the left lane and yelled, “She almost hit us! She didn’t see us!”

“I tried to tell you, Dan! I heard Him, but apparently, you didn’t”. Isn’t that just how life is? God may be warning you of something and your family thinks you’re nuts. Paranoid. Early dementia.

God may also be calling you to stop, move over or go in a new direction. Suddenly you are selfish. Or controlling. Or off your meds. It’s hard when others can’t see or agree with the road He has you on. Especially if they are not called to ride along or are fearful they will be left behind.

Allow God to Uber this wild ride you are called to for 2023. Give others the grace to take their own Uber. 2023 is going to be an interesting year. Eye-opening. Life changing.

Get ready to pivot kids.

Jake

Months ago, I had some repairs done on my home. As soon as I met “Jake” my eyes lit up. Like I had just seen an old friend. I told Jake he looked familiar “Do we know each other?” “Nope.” I figured as time drew on that I would figure out where we had met. Jake was in and out of my house for several days and we rarely said more than hello. One day, I realized why he looked so familiar. God had a word for him!

I told Jake that he was going to be the father to his children that he never had. That he was a hard worker and I appreciated his perfection and attention to detail. That all of this came easy to him because God had given him these gifts and talents. That Jake would never have to worry about securing work, because of his craftsmanship and integrity which would walk before him and pave the way. That he had struggled through some issues earlier in his life, but that was all over with. God wanted to bring him into a season of ease and provision. I then told him that the woman he was with was perfect for him. That they would fill each other’s holes from the past and heal the hurt from all of the crappy relationships each had experienced.

Jake’s mouth opened. “Did Pete tell you about me?” (Pete is his business partner) ” No. God did.” He teared up and told me about his childhood and wanting to be a better parent to his children. Jake also had an engagement ring in his pocket that he carried with him everywhere so his fiancee, Natalie, wouldn’t find it. They had been together for 10 years and he had planned a surprise for the following week. Natalie thought they were driving to the airport to pick up his cousin, but instead, he was flying them out to California where he would propose on a beach. A lot of planning had gone into this and he was nervous about making their relationship official. He was so happy about the confirmation that he had found the one.

I told Jake, who didn’t know what a WOK (word of knowledge) was that I was happy that he didn’t think I was a nut case. “No, I am a believer.” He then pointed to a tattoo on the inside of his forearm that I hadn’t noticed before. It read John 3:16. How cool and what a great reminder! Jake, God not only wants his kids to have everlasting life with Him but also experience Him AND His kingdom here on earth.

I was reminded of this story today when I was thinking about how much Big Sky Daddy wants to speak to us even more than we want to hear Him. In fact, if we can’t hear Him for ourselves, He will make sure He gets the message to us through someone else.

Have a lovely week, Beloveds.

Love To Hate

Do you have anyone you love to hate? Or do you harbor un-forgiveness towards anyone for the pain they have caused you? To the point that anything they do becomes another reason to re-ignite those negative feelings or justifies your willingness in pointing out their flaws or mistakes? To anyone that will listen to you?

No? Are you sure? I had one of those people in my life, until just recently. I heard they were going to a conference to encounter the Holy Spirit so I asked a couple of people to pray with me that “Tori” would be whacked. So WHACKED that she would do carpet time and be laid out for a couple of hours until all of the stuff that ever irritated or hurt me would be healed right out of her. So she never does it again! Fix her Lord!

When I asked Tori how her conference went, I was surprised when she said it had been amazing. That she had finally just gave everything over to God to heal. All of it. That she had been profoundly touched and felt God in such a tangible way that it had been life changing. She started to cry and I could see a visible change in her. She looked softer and 10 years younger. I could see on a spiritual level that she was really free. I was overwhelmed with emotion and started to cry with her. She suddenly got up and said I need to hug you. Tori put her arms around me and we just stood there. Not saying anything. Just both crying.

If anyone, that knows us both, would have walked by and saw this, they would have thought Jesus had returned. Shared tears and hugs? Never in a million years! But God had other plans. I cried off and on, for most of the day. The Holy Spirit just kept hitting me over and over again. Not only was I happy for her, but I was happy for me. God suddenly removed 20 years of anger and hurt towards her. In a heartbeat it was gone!

Gone were 20 wasted years of loathing someone who had just as many issues to heal as I did. I just never saw it that way. She wasn’t evil, just in pain and hurting people hurt people. The beautiful thing was that I had just asked God last week to heal this issue between us, once and for all. I was willing to just give it all to Him. First time ever that I was ready to let it all go.

Isn’t it amazing what surrendering can do? Not out of fear, but out of trust? Trust that He can fix the impossible. And you don’t even have to wait until Jesus comes back. 🙂 He can do the impossible now. What do you need Daddy God to fix? Fix once and for all?

One By One


As I was getting dressed for an appointment, God said “tell Kelli (the receptionist) that she was created to create.” Huh? In the past 2 years, I have never had a word for Kelli nor said much more to her than hello or goodbye. Then I heard a bunch of random single words. “Artist. Creative. Writer. Children. Book. Crafts. Etsy. Sales. Training”

Me: Huh? Which one is it, God?
God: All of it.
Me: Nah. Can’t be.

Ever start getting a word and then it continues on longer than you expected so you think it must just be you? So I start trying to figure out what God said and what I added. On my 25 minute drive I kept asking God, to help ME put it together. What is she supposed to be creating? I got nothing more.

When I signed in, Kelli was alone so I whispered “Do you know what a word of knowledge is? Or prophecy?” “Ahhh no?” So I explained it and told her God had spoken to me this morning about her. Her eyes got wide and I started with what He told me. Then suddenly All of the single words came out ONE by ONE. Just like I heard. She was surprised and told me that she was kind of working on all of them but hadn’t gotten serious yet.

When I left she thanked me for the encouragement and said that she would sit her butt down and get going on it.

Good reminder to stop trying to figure everything out. You aren’t going to look stupid, crazy, or wrong If you get just one word. GIVE one word. If you get a string of them give them too… just like you heard them. Our brains just want to fill in the blanks so it makes sense TO us! Trust that as He speaks thru you the Holy Spirit will fill in the blanks and the receiver spirit’s lightbulb will turn on…. by no effort of your own.

How many times have you gotten just ONE word and then you opened up your mouth and He filled it? He isn’t holding out on you nor trying to see if you will trust or be obedient.

Sometimes we can’t handle a couple of paragraphs without our twist on it. If it comes out in REAL TIME our brains don’t have time to put our human twist on it. Get used to not having a script before He uses you. Half the fun is to see how and when He will speak or heal thru you.

Oh, and you aren’t being prideful if you get a kick out of being used by God! Or sharing your part in it! We all know it is God through you doing the healing. Relax religious police. Just know and trust that He gets a kick out of YOU enjoying being used by Him and sharing those stories.

Fear?

The other day, my alarm went off, and as soon as I opened my eyes, I heard, ” My people live in fear because they do not know me.” Loud and clear! No mistaking who was speaking to me. Especially since I’m not a morning person, and I don’t even talk to myself that early.

I keep thinking about what He said. Not in a let’s get out the Bible and look at what has been written about who He is. Not that doing so wouldn’t be important, but I’ve been asking Him to show me who He is to me. I know He is love. That’s a given. We hopefully learn that when we’re 5. But who is He to me? What are my actual beliefs about Him? Not the ones I’ve been told I should have about Him, but the real ones. The honest ones. Maybe some really ugly honest ones.

If He can pull any string on this earth to send out angels, soften hearts, create opportunities, heal bodies and minds, and pull a rabbit out of His hat for any reason, why aren’t we going to Him? About everything?

What fears do we have about Him that get in the way? Or unbelief? What has happened in your past that makes you not trust? Or doubt?

Is it because of something man did? Or didn’t do?

Who are you equating God with?

Don’t bother trying to think about this on your own; ask God to reveal to you the truth. The truth of what is causing a barrier between you and Him.

He can handle it. You’re no surprise to Him.

Then ask Him to fix it. To heal it. To renew your faith in Him.

It’s time for us to get real and honest with God.

I’m tired of living in fear because I do not really know Him. Or who He is or can be in my life if I allow Him in. Totally, let Him in.

Are you?

You’ll Never Catch Me Coppers!

I looked up from my computer to see a County Sherrif’s vehicle pull up and park outside my place. I suddenly froze, held my breath and thought ” Yikes! What did I do now?” Then, I exhaled and laughed! What could I possibly have done or DO that would warrant…..well a warrant? Hahahaha!

Isn’t it funny that even though my crazy redhead days are over with, that I am so quick to condemn myself? Before anyone else does? Or before there is any proof of wrong doing? I think we all tend to do that. Or am I the only one who has some “situations” in my past? You know….the ones you are glad happened before Facebook and Instagram were invented?.

Peeps, not only do we need to get over ourselves, we need to get PAST our past.

I am getting too old for this crap. How about you?

By-eeeee

Many years ago, my very wise older sister Kathy stopped me cold mid-rant and said, “Do you need permission? “

What? “

“Do you need permission not to involve yourself with this person anymore? I permit you to stop subjecting yourself to this person’s abuse. I give your permission to end the friendship.”

I was dumbfounded at first and then relieved! I ended my relationship that day and said goodbye to the drama. I just needed someone to say that it was okay to do so because I couldn’t help myself. Ever feel like that?

Why is it that sometimes we hang on to old stuff, new stuff, or even someone else’s stuff that isn’t working for us? Why do we feel we have to continue to struggle to make things work? Or to fix things? Especially with people who are crazy-making companions at best? Sometimes it takes too much energy to pretend someone’s behavior is, well…normal. So why do we do it? Because there is something inside us that wants to complete something that we started. Cross the T’s. Dot the i’s. Finish off the chips. Make sense of it all.

Sometimes it is good to finish everything we started, and sometimes it is just plain wrong. Can anyone hear me out there about this? God isn’t expecting us to fix anyone or any situation. Only He can do that. You aren’t a failure if you can’t or don’t want to hang in there to see something through that was never your burden to bear in the first place. Sometimes it starts out good, and we don’t see the crazy card until we are well into the game. Or sometimes we have shared too much of our secrets or given up too much of ourselves to another person and dread what would happen if all of this ended. Abruptly. What would we lose? Or what would be exposed? So we hang on to something that should have been cut off years ago, worrying about our reputations and our other 6 degrees of separation and hang on to madness to protect ourselves.

But if you can’t fix something, you also can’t protect yourself if someone decides to GO there for whatever reason. I have people who still talk about me from years ago. Now, I call it free publicity.

Don’t worry. I give you all permission today to stop anything that isn’t working for you. I promise you God will pick up the pieces and make wrong out of right. If He is for you anyone who is against you will not win in the end!

Life here on earth is way too short to throw pearls before swine. Give it up and give it to God. Tell the person you are taking a break and giving it a rest. An indefinite pause. Time to let go of the lies, abuse, and negativity. Time to let go of someone or something that is holding you up or holding you back.

Time to break the news. Even if that person you are breaking it to is yourself.

Crazy Fun

Years ago, my ex-boyfriend, Steve, had a roommate Bob who dated a woman named “Sharon.” Bob didn’t care that Sharon was married till he found out that her husband was a Sheriff. One day, Steve came home to find Sharon’s car in their garage, and she was passed out in the backseat. Sharon liked to day-drink and had shown up at their house while Steve was at work. Bob decided to hide her and her vehicle in the garage if the Sheriff did a drive-by.

Steve was angry and told Bob to get rid of Sharon. Especially since the Sheriff had recently trailed Bob, obtained his phone number, and left him a message to leave his wife alone. Or else! Bob drove Sharon’s car to her home, with her still in the back, and parked it outside on the street. He put the keys in the glove, locked the doors, and walked to a nearby bus stop.

It took Bob an hour and a half and 3 connecting buses later to arrive back at his home. He walked in the front door and was greeted by Sharon, drinking a wine cooler. She had woken up, driven the 15 minutes back to Bob’s, and was waiting for him. Like nothing had happened. I remember Steve was furious that they had to hide Sharon and her car again. Luckily, Sharon slept it off and made it back home that night before hubby got off his night shift.

Bob had many more adventures with Sharon before realizing that married women, alcohol, and Sheriffs were not a good mix. And Bob didn’t even drink! He just hung out at bars looking for women in a “position” to make bad decisions. He was attracted to her because she was crazy fun, then later found out she was just plain crazy.

I had forgotten about this story until tonight when one of my guy friends started talking about dating crazy women. We laughed!!! Oh my. I do not miss those days at all. God’s word says not to look in your rearview mirror because you do not live there anymore. I believe sometimes you need to at least take a glance back and realize how glad you are that you don’t.