The other day, my alarm went off, and as soon as I opened my eyes, I heard, ” My people live in fear because they do not know me.” Loud and clear! No mistaking who was speaking to me. Especially since I’m not a morning person, and I don’t even talk to myself that early.
I keep thinking about what He said. Not in a let’s get out the Bible and look at what has been written about who He is. Not that doing so wouldn’t be important, but I’ve been asking Him to show me who He is to me. I know He is love. That’s a given. We hopefully learn that when we’re 5. But who is He to me? What are my actual beliefs about Him? Not the ones I’ve been told I should have about Him, but the real ones. The honest ones. Maybe some really ugly honest ones.
If He can pull any string on this earth to send out angels, soften hearts, create opportunities, heal bodies and minds, and pull a rabbit out of His hat for any reason, why aren’t we going to Him? About everything?
What fears do we have about Him that get in the way? Or unbelief? What has happened in your past that makes you not trust? Or doubt?
Is it because of something man did? Or didn’t do?
Who are you equating God with?
Don’t bother trying to think about this on your own; ask God to reveal to you the truth. The truth of what is causing a barrier between you and Him.
He can handle it. You’re no surprise to Him.
Then ask Him to fix it. To heal it. To renew your faith in Him.
It’s time for us to get real and honest with God.
I’m tired of living in fear because I do not really know Him. Or who He is or can be in my life if I allow Him in. Totally, let Him in.
I looked up from my computer to see a County Sherrif’s vehicle pull up and park outside my place. I suddenly froze, held my breath and thought ” Yikes! What did I do now?” Then, I exhaled and laughed! What could I possibly have done or DO that would warrant…..well a warrant? Hahahaha!
Isn’t it funny that even though my crazy redhead days are over with, that I am so quick to condemn myself? Before anyone else does? Or before there is any proof of wrong doing? I think we all tend to do that. Or am I the only one who has some “situations” in my past? You know….the ones you are glad happened before Facebook and Instagram were invented?.
Peeps, not only do we need to get over ourselves, we need to get PAST our past.
I am getting too old for this crap. How about you?
Many years ago, my very wise older sister Kathy stopped me cold mid-rant and said, “Do you need permission? “
“Do you need permission not to involve yourself with this person anymore? I permit you to stop subjecting yourself to this person’s abuse. I give your permission to end the friendship.”
I was dumbfounded at first and then relieved! I ended my relationship that day and said goodbye to the drama. I just needed someone to say that it was okay to do so because I couldn’t help myself. Ever feel like that?
Why is it that sometimes we hang on to old stuff, new stuff, or even someone else’s stuff that isn’t working for us? Why do we feel we have to continue to struggle to make things work? Or to fix things? Especially with people who are crazy-making companions at best? Sometimes it takes too much energy to pretend someone’s behavior is, well…normal. So why do we do it? Because there is something inside us that wants to complete something that we started. Cross the T’s. Dot the i’s. Finish off the chips. Make sense of it all.
Sometimes it is good to finish everything we started, and sometimes it is just plain wrong. Can anyone hear me out there about this? God isn’t expecting us to fix anyone or any situation. Only He can do that. You aren’t a failure if you can’t or don’t want to hang in there to see something through that was never your burden to bear in the first place. Sometimes it starts out good, and we don’t see the crazy card until we are well into the game. Or sometimes we have shared too much of our secrets or given up too much of ourselves to another person and dread what would happen if all of this ended. Abruptly. What would we lose? Or what would be exposed? So we hang on to something that should have been cut off years ago, worrying about our reputations and our other 6 degrees of separation and hang on to madness to protect ourselves.
But if you can’t fix something, you also can’t protect yourself if someone decides to GO there for whatever reason. I have people who still talk about me from years ago. Now, I call it free publicity.
Don’t worry. I give you all permission today to stop anything that isn’t working for you. I promise you God will pick up the pieces and make wrong out of right. If He is for you anyone who is against you will not win in the end!
Life here on earth is way too short to throw pearls before swine. Give it up and give it to God. Tell the person you are taking a break and giving it a rest. An indefinite pause. Time to let go of the lies, abuse, and negativity. Time to let go of someone or something that is holding you up or holding you back.
Time to break the news. Even if that person you are breaking it to is yourself.
Years ago, my ex-boyfriend, Steve, had a roommate Bob who dated a woman named “Sharon.” Bob didn’t care that Sharon was married till he found out that her husband was a Sheriff. One day, Steve came home to find Sharon’s car in their garage, and she was passed out in the backseat. Sharon liked to day-drink and had shown up at their house while Steve was at work. Bob decided to hide her and her vehicle in the garage if the Sheriff did a drive-by.
Steve was angry and told Bob to get rid of Sharon. Especially since the Sheriff had recently trailed Bob, obtained his phone number, and left him a message to leave his wife alone. Or else! Bob drove Sharon’s car to her home, with her still in the back, and parked it outside on the street. He put the keys in the glove, locked the doors, and walked to a nearby bus stop.
It took Bob an hour and a half and 3 connecting buses later to arrive back at his home. He walked in the front door and was greeted by Sharon, drinking a wine cooler. She had woken up, driven the 15 minutes back to Bob’s, and was waiting for him. Like nothing had happened. I remember Steve was furious that they had to hide Sharon and her car again. Luckily, Sharon slept it off and made it back home that night before hubby got off his night shift.
Bob had many more adventures with Sharon before realizing that married women, alcohol, and Sheriffs were not a good mix. And Bob didn’t even drink! He just hung out at bars looking for women in a “position” to make bad decisions. He was attracted to her because she was crazy fun, then later found out she was just plain crazy.
I had forgotten about this story until tonight when one of my guy friends started talking about dating crazy women. We laughed!!! Oh my. I do not miss those days at all. God’s word says not to look in your rearview mirror because you do not live there anymore. I believe sometimes you need to at least take a glance back and realize how glad you are that you don’t.