One night Dan and I visited my 96-year-old father in his assisted living apartment. Dan got into my dad’s wheelchair and started doing wheelies around the room. Dan was the biggest kid I knew and never missed a chance to play.
Dan finally stopped the chair in front of my Dad’s recliner “Do you mind if I marry your daughter?” I was shocked as I didn’t know this was coming. A man usually asks your Father when you aren’t there but Dan was up for the weekend and had asked to see him.
Without missing a beat my dad responded, ” Why? Do you HAVE to get married?”
Dan laughed “No seriously. I’m being respectful. I want your blessing.” My father looked at me and said “Well Jeanne do what you want. But does Dan golf?”
I looked at Dan and mouthed. “Say yes”
Dan nodded, “Yes. Yes, I do”
My father’s face lit up. “Dan the man! I knew you were a good man, Dan!”
Later, after we left:
Dan “I don’t like lying. I don’t golf.”
Me: “You just made an old man happy. Golfing is a requirement to marry one of his daughters.
“Ok, but it’s still lying”
I laughed. My father at 96 was highly unlikely to get Dan out on a course with him. But Dan always wanted to be truthful, honest, and do the right thing.
My father died 2 months later.
When looking for a partner, I have read that you attract what you are rather than what you want. This means you will attract someone at an equal level of your current self-worth or your woundedness. It probably explains why a lot of relationships don’t work out. One person heals and then leaves the unhealed behind because they are no longer a fit.
But what if you could attract who you want or need, even if you are less than your best self? Hmmmmm
Years ago, I met a couple who had recently married. I asked how they had met, and they told me they had been friends for many years. One day they attended church together and, during communion, looked over at each other and realized that they were meant to be together and married two months later. Whoa! I know another couple who worked for the same restaurant chain but in different locations. They had met but hated each other. One day they collided at a work event, and both suddenly knew they were to be married and now have a houseful of kids. Hate to marriage vows? It sounds like the plot for every Hallmark movie I’ve ever seen!
Maybe God intervenes when it is His plan, and it doesn’t matter how much healing you need. It overrides anything in the natural.
Ten-plus years ago, it was common practice at conferences to tell all the sad, lonely singles to pray, write a list of traits you wanted in a mate, and tuck it away in a bible. You were calling those perfect mates into existence! Like a holy version of manifestation 🙂. You weren’t supposed to ask for a hot blonde or tall dark and …. but rather Godly traits. Ha!
So tonight, as I cleaned out some old books in my office, I found my Godly spouse wish list. It must have been at least 15 years old! I was surprised when I read through the 26 traits that every single one was my Dan! Every single one. Even down to the “much taller than me, brown hair and brown eyes.”
God wants to give you EVEN better than the desires of your heart. Maybe your timing isn’t right…..BUT HIS IS!
Just ask Beloved. Just ask.