Repent?

You are now a new person in Christ!

You are free from your past TO act like it! FREE TO ACT LIKE IT. Not.. SO you better act like it.

It’s an invitation …..not a beat down.

Doesn’t matter if bad memories of your exploits surface again. (And isn’t that usually the case when you feel good about yourself, things are going right or you’ve met someone new?)

Keep telling yourself you are NOT that person any more. That version of yourself was somebody else. Someone you used to know and who you no longer associate with.

Anyone brings up your past behavior just respond “I am not that person any more. Why are you bringing it up?”

Stop looking in your rear view mirror or in old journals unless you have a testimony or it brings God glory!

Every moment is a new start peeps. New you. New opportunities. Regardless of what happened a minute ago.

That is what it means to repent.

Someone needs to be reminded of this today. Whoever you are… I love you!

Memories

Warning long ramble:

Ever shudder when a bad memory surfaces where you said or did something idiotic? Or hurtful? Or illegal?

You suddenly feel a stomach punch. Or a butt clench. Or your cheeks turn red. As Nick Danger used to say “like a hot kiss at the end of a wet fist.” It feels horrible, and it surprised you, but you still react like it just happened.

I had one of those memorable moments the other day. Even though it was 30 years ago, I felt extreme shame and guilt all over again. I had to take control of it or it would have turned into a 2-hour self-hate fest. Ever felt like that? A friend told me he has laid awake at night kicking himself over some stupid stuff that he can never reverse. “Did it make you feel better?” “No. It brought up a train of past scenes that reminded me of what a horrible ass I was.” Hmmm, so why go back? Or better yet, why can’t we stop ourselves from going back there?

Do you want to know how to fix this? Next time that happens, stop mid-self-punishment and say “This is irrelevant. I am no longer that person. It doesn’t matter anymore.” Then thank God that it was years ago before anyone could live-stream it in the making. Even if it was yesterday or you have already made your 15 minutes of fame on YouTube, let it go. You need to stop the pattern of spanking yourself over shit that went down when you were high, horny, hateful, hormonal, or a revenge-raged ex-lover.

We think we have 3 volumes in our life. Past. Present. Future. The truth is, all we have is now. RIGHT NOW. This very moment. No matter what you are doing, it will always be right now…and you will always be in the present moment. You may lament about the past or fear about the future, BUT you are never anywhere else but in the present. (Don’t come for me, you teleporting peeps…. you’d still be in the present even if you were simultaneously in the future).

Even if your hairstyle hasn’t changed, you still love Boonesfarm, pop tarts, and the Grateful Dead, you are still a new person at this very moment. Even if you did the same mistake today, it would still NOT be the same. Think about that one.

You hear about celebrities reinventing themselves. (Gee, anything to get some press) You are no different and are continually reinventing yourself too. Your thoughts, body, cells, beliefs, and values are always changing and moving forward (even if it is backward behavior.) You can’t go backward if you are here… now.

You change with your circumstances. So why hold on to circumstances that no longer fit? Or are no longer relevant? That was the old you. Even if it was yesterday.

Repeat after me . “That is irrelevant. I am no longer that person. I don’t even know who that person was because that is something I definitely would not or even could do today. At this very moment. Or even conceive of doing in my next present moment that will come in the near future.

OMG. I wish she would just stick to funny memes instead of these long rambling notes to herself. Lord, that is 5 minutes I will never get back and…… STOP!

Ha, see even the post you just read is NOW in the past… move forward peeps, and get rid of anything that does NOT matter anymore.

End scene. Enjoy your present moment, Beloveds. It’s all we have, anyway.

By-eeeee

Many years ago, my very wise older sister Kathy stopped me cold mid-rant and said, “Do you need permission? “

What? “

“Do you need permission not to involve yourself with this person anymore? I permit you to stop subjecting yourself to this person’s abuse. I give your permission to end the friendship.”

I was dumbfounded at first and then relieved! I ended my relationship that day and said goodbye to the drama. I just needed someone to say that it was okay to do so because I couldn’t help myself. Ever feel like that?

Why is it that sometimes we hang on to old stuff, new stuff, or even someone else’s stuff that isn’t working for us? Why do we feel we have to continue to struggle to make things work? Or to fix things? Especially with people who are crazy-making companions at best? Sometimes it takes too much energy to pretend someone’s behavior is, well…normal. So why do we do it? Because there is something inside us that wants to complete something that we started. Cross the T’s. Dot the i’s. Finish off the chips. Make sense of it all.

Sometimes it is good to finish everything we started, and sometimes it is just plain wrong. Can anyone hear me out there about this? God isn’t expecting us to fix anyone or any situation. Only He can do that. You aren’t a failure if you can’t or don’t want to hang in there to see something through that was never your burden to bear in the first place. Sometimes it starts out good, and we don’t see the crazy card until we are well into the game. Or sometimes we have shared too much of our secrets or given up too much of ourselves to another person and dread what would happen if all of this ended. Abruptly. What would we lose? Or what would be exposed? So we hang on to something that should have been cut off years ago, worrying about our reputations and our other 6 degrees of separation and hang on to madness to protect ourselves.

But if you can’t fix something, you also can’t protect yourself if someone decides to GO there for whatever reason. I have people who still talk about me from years ago. Now, I call it free publicity.

Don’t worry. I give you all permission today to stop anything that isn’t working for you. I promise you God will pick up the pieces and make wrong out of right. If He is for you anyone who is against you will not win in the end!

Life here on earth is way too short to throw pearls before swine. Give it up and give it to God. Tell the person you are taking a break and giving it a rest. An indefinite pause. Time to let go of the lies, abuse, and negativity. Time to let go of someone or something that is holding you up or holding you back.

Time to break the news. Even if that person you are breaking it to is yourself.

New Beginnings

Warning: End of the year ramble.

I was with a group of people last night and we hovered over a table filled with a variety of the usual end-of-the-year snacks. You know…. the ones that will never cross your lips again until you lose X amount of pounds. A couple of people kept saying “I can’t believe I keep eating this!” “This is sooooo bad for me!” “I’ve gained enough weight already!”. Oh yeah, and I might have been one of them. Finally, I said “Can we just not feel guilty for once about eating and just enjoy it? Just once?” Nothing goes better with spinach dip, chips, and poppers like a big ole side of GUILT. Maybe if we spank ourselves while shoveling it in, (as in don’t really taste or enjoy) maybe it doesn’t count. Like you have already done your penance so it can’t permanently land on your already big ……….. fill in the blank. 🙂 No? Just me? Ha! And why don’t men have this food guilt/shame gene? Or is this just a learned behavior our mamas didn’t teach us?

2022 will be better. I am believing it will. Trusting it will. It’s time to start living life again. Feeling hope, joy, and learning to enjoy the small things. Even if it is melted cheese stuffed into a jalapeno! I am really grateful for family, friends, and my relationship with Big Sky Daddy.

I am thankful that I am alive and still able to be used by God on this side of the realm. Instead of feeling bad about things that don’t really matter, in the long run, I am choosing to feel hopeful, excited, and expectant of new beginnings and possibilities.

This needs to trump everything.

Let’s stop sweating the small stuff. And it’s all small stuff.

Happy New Beginnings my Beloveds!