Tag: forgiveness

Plant Parent

Many years ago, I belonged to a large church and there always seemed to be someone promoting their kid’s school fundraiser. I bought a live plant arrangement but didn’t pick it up for two weeks. Of course, by then, it was almost dead, and the parent told me she would refund my money. Nah, that’s okay, I told her and planned discreetly to discard it on my way out.

I then saw an older couple with their 40-something son, Billy, who had recently gotten out of treatment. He had moved back in with them and they were concerned, as he was extremely depressed. He felt like a huge loser who would never redeem himself in life because he had wasted so much of it with drugs and alcohol. The couple had asked us to pray for Billy, as he spent most of his day in bed, and they were afraid he was suicidal.

I smiled and waved as I passed them by and God said, “Stop and give Billy the plant. Tell him I want him to bring it back to life.”

I thought, Nah!. Why would God want me to give this depressed guy a dead plant? God persisted and whispered, “trust me”, so I finally turned around and handed it to Billy. “Yes, I know this is weird, but God told me to give you this plant and that you would bring it back to life.” Billy laughed, ” You mean resurrect it?” ” I smiled. “Yes. I’m serious.” I laid my hands on him and said a prayer for healing, and then I left.

A month later, I ran into this same family again after church. I was so glad to see a happier Billy, who was also sporting a new haircut and a sharp buttoned-down shirt. “Hey, Jeanne! I saved that plant you gave me and I now have it sitting in my bedroom window.” I thought he was kidding and figured the plant had died the next day. But as Billy wandered off to get coffee, his mother told me he tended to that plant every day. He was so touched that God had spoken to me about him, he was taking the responsibility seriously. She said she watched as he came out of his depression because he now had something to put his focus on other than himself.

God brought this memory back to me yesterday. I got teared up all over again. God is so amazing. He can take something so simple and heal through it. He can work through anyone and that means you and me! Next time you feel like God is asking you to do something “odd” feel stupid and do it, anyway. You might just be planting a seed or literally helping to bring someone back to life.

Love To Hate

Do you have anyone you love to hate? Or do you harbor un-forgiveness towards anyone for the pain they have caused you? To the point that anything they do becomes another reason to re-ignite those negative feelings or justifies your willingness in pointing out their flaws or mistakes? To anyone that will listen to you?

No? Are you sure? I had one of those people in my life, until just recently. I heard they were going to a conference to encounter the Holy Spirit so I asked a couple of people to pray with me that “Tori” would be whacked. So WHACKED that she would do carpet time and be laid out for a couple of hours until all of the stuff that ever irritated or hurt me would be healed right out of her. So she never does it again! Fix her Lord!

When I asked Tori how her conference went, I was surprised when she said it had been amazing. That she had finally just gave everything over to God to heal. All of it. That she had been profoundly touched and felt God in such a tangible way that it had been life changing. She started to cry and I could see a visible change in her. She looked softer and 10 years younger. I could see on a spiritual level that she was really free. I was overwhelmed with emotion and started to cry with her. She suddenly got up and said I need to hug you. Tori put her arms around me and we just stood there. Not saying anything. Just both crying.

If anyone, that knows us both, would have walked by and saw this, they would have thought Jesus had returned. Shared tears and hugs? Never in a million years! But God had other plans. I cried off and on, for most of the day. The Holy Spirit just kept hitting me over and over again. Not only was I happy for her, but I was happy for me. God suddenly removed 20 years of anger and hurt towards her. In a heartbeat it was gone!

Gone were 20 wasted years of loathing someone who had just as many issues to heal as I did. I just never saw it that way. She wasn’t evil, just in pain and hurting people hurt people. The beautiful thing was that I had just asked God last week to heal this issue between us, once and for all. I was willing to just give it all to Him. First time ever that I was ready to let it all go.

Isn’t it amazing what surrendering can do? Not out of fear, but out of trust? Trust that He can fix the impossible. And you don’t even have to wait until Jesus comes back. 🙂 He can do the impossible now. What do you need Daddy God to fix? Fix once and for all?

Imperfect

Sometimes I wonder how I can even be in ministry. I admit I can be terrible. Especially when I am really angry or afraid. I won’t even be fully aware of spontaneously dropping F-bombs. Rapid fire, machine gun F BOMBS! 🙂 I like to blame it on my red hair. Or the devil. It definitely isn’t His spirit in me 🙂. My therapist told me a long time ago that I need to make peace with my sometimes “highly excitable personality.” Yikes. Why can’t I just be a new person in Christ and stay there?

I was recently in a car accident. It was a shocker because I didn’t see the other car. I heard a loud bang and then saw a grey blur of metal as the impact spun my car a 180. It all happened in a heartbeat! I sat in my car shaking. What just happened? I looked down and I had red marks across my chest from the seatbelt and my left thumb was already turning colors. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw that the other driver looked much older than me. Was she okay? I was shocked and sat frozen, unable to get out of my car and access the situation. I finally caught my breath and called 911 and told them there had been an accident.

Where are you located?

I am not sure. I’m really rattled. In Maple Grove. By Walmart. Across from Valvoline. By Starbucks. That side.

Where are you? Southbound? Northbound? What road?.

Uh Uh Uh, Southbound.

I started to hyperventilate. I couldn’t recall the name of the road even though I probably drive it every day. I continued to tell her the landmarks, a block from X highway etc. and she starts screaming at me!

SCREAMING!!!

MAAM! WHY DON’T YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? YOU NEED TO BE AWARE OF WHERE YOU ARE DRIVING!!! YOU NEED TO KNOW THE NAME OF THE STREETS YOU ARE DRIVING ON AT ALL TIMES!!! YOU NEED TO….

Her screaming was not making me think any clearer. I’m thinking, why are you yelling at me? Lady, you have no idea if I have a head injury or if my breast is cut off. Hmmm Maybe I hit my head and am worse than I realized! Now I am really panicked so I start screaming back….

Me: What the F$#@$!##@!!!!! I am rattled! I am trying to F@#$#@-ing tell you where I am and F@#$##……

OP: Stop yelling at me! Stop swearing at Me!

Me: You stop yelling at me!!!!! I’m sorry but aren’t you supposed to be the calm one? You aren’t helping this……

I mistakenly gave her the name of a street across the highway from me and she says “No you aren’t there you are on X !!!” Ahhhh….so she knew all along. 🙂 Ha! Maybe she was trying to find out if I had been day drinking.

OP: Are you blocking a lane?

Me: We are off to the side of the road and cars are going around us.

OP: THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM ASKING YOU!!!!!!! ARE YOU…..

This exchange goes on for a couple more minutes and then she finally screams “ YES YOU ARE BLOCKING A LANE!!!!! WAIT FOR AN OFFICER!!!!” Then hangs up on me. I’m thinking, don’t leave? I can’t even talk right now. I then decided to reach out for prayer so I could calm the F@$@#$# down.

We both were obviously not having a good day and she was just trying to quickly assess the situation. I cannot imagine this exchange if it was a murder scene or an abduction. Later, I told the officer that the 911 OP was a real @#$#@#. He just smiled. Hmmm, Maybe he knows her. 🙂 My sister, who showed up to help later said to me “ Do you realize when you said that he had his body cam on?”

OOPS. God is still working on this Redhead, but that doesn’t stop Him from using me. Or you.

Forgive yourself for not being perfect. Only Big Sky Daddy is perfect and He already loves and adores you. Even if you spontaneously drop an F@#$#%%.

Repent?

You are now a new person in Christ!

You are free from your past TO act like it! FREE TO ACT LIKE IT. Not.. SO you better act like it.

It’s an invitation …..not a beat down.

Doesn’t matter if bad memories of your exploits surface again. (And isn’t that usually the case when you feel good about yourself, things are going right or you’ve met someone new?)

Keep telling yourself you are NOT that person any more. That version of yourself was somebody else. Someone you used to know and who you no longer associate with.

Anyone brings up your past behavior just respond “I am not that person any more. Why are you bringing it up?”

Stop looking in your rear view mirror or in old journals unless you have a testimony or it brings God glory!

Every moment is a new start peeps. New you. New opportunities. Regardless of what happened a minute ago.

That is what it means to repent.

Someone needs to be reminded of this today. Whoever you are… I love you!

Starbucks

It’s half priced cold brew at Starbucks today. Hate or love Starbucks I wasn’t going to miss out on a cheap brew! 

I ordered at the screen and reminded them it’s half priced Tuesday. ”Great! Yes we know! Pull ahead.” “Do I have to remind you at the window?” “Nope, come on up.”

So of course you know what happens. I drive back thru and ask them to credit me back on my app. I was super nice about it because my days of drive thru iced coffee blunder meltdowns are long gone.

A manager helped the young employee to credit me back as I smiled and patiently waited. This girl just stood back from the window and looked terrified. I think she was expecting me to turn into a Karen, start screaming and toss my drink at her. Too many Karen videos circulating lately of food fights at fast food pick up windows.

I’m too old to throw stuff or start screaming at strangers. Especially before my morning coffee kicks in 🙂

Be kind at the drive-thru!

How My Daddy Rolls

Notes to myself:

God doesn’t give you more than you can bear. Ever heard this?

This specific verse isn’t actually in the bible. Usually, when I hear someone use this phrase they are equating it with some struggle or setback. As in “God gave me that sickness, pain, debt or horrible spouse/boss for my own good.” Suck it up! It will make you a better person. What?! God does not send us ill will or bad mojo! It is God’s will to give us good things. James 1:17.

If anything, God may not give us more GOOD things that we can’t handle at the moment! He is all about timing. Your dreams, work, or relationships not moving fast enough for you? Might be because there is some truth to be revealed or the growing up you need to do first. Next time something doesn’t happen fast enough (or at all) remind yourself that it might be in your best interest! Like that crazy person, you thought you could never live without, who is now gladly someone else’s headache. 🙂 You might want to just park it and stop striving instead of quickly trying to find the Jezebel spirit behind everything. 🙂

If you still want to believe that God doesn’t give you more than you can bear why not think of it in the positive? That you don’t need to bear anything alone and that you weren’t meant to. Any situation you go thru can be directed, mentored, or facilitated by the Holy Spirit!

Just sharing my thoughts on why I haven’t won Power Ball yet.

A Prison Of Our Own Making

Years ago, the Holy Spirit prompted me to go to a clothing store I frequented. I wasn’t in the mood to shop but knew HE probably had something else in mind as that usually is the case. Several moments after entering the store so did an older woman named G, whom I had prayed for several months earlier. She had a cold then and was too weak to shop until Jesus blew some life into her. She started complaining about a handful of issues, and I offered to pray again. “Well, it is all a part of life, and I think it is good that I learn to deal with all of my issues! But please pray for me again as the last time it helped.” I smiled and thought, “OK God, so this is why you had me drive over.” Easy! So I prayed for her, and a heartbeat later, G, the store owner, and I started talking about abortions.

It was one of those Holy Spirit directed rabbit trails. G defiantly tells me that she believes we need to hang on to the abortion option. It saves lives. HUH? Whose life? G is 70 and tells me she has had three abortions, and they all took place during her marriage. Her daughter was a nightmare to deal with, and she believes their lives would have been ruined to have had any more children. Her husband, a Catholic, is still having a hard time with it. “How about you?” I asked. I had worked in a post-abortive ministry, and I have never met a post-abortive woman who did not need some kind of healing. G said ” They happened, and it was for the best, and in fact, I brought my daughter in to have one too. I felt like it was the right thing to do, but she defiantly became pregnant again and is now living with the father. My husband and I were unhappy about that, but you know this little granddaughter has become the love of our lives.”.
Wow! For the next 20 minutes, we talked about her three abortions. She belongs to a liberal church that she claims supports abortion as an option. She believes she does not feel any shame, guilt, or anger about her actions.
“Can I pray for you for this?”
G replied, “I don’t see how it would help but sure, go ahead.”
So I silently laid my hands on G, and as the Holy Spirit touched her heart, she started to cry.
I said, “God loves you G.”
G”Yes I know, but I feel so terribly sad.”
“Yes, G, you are probably grieving the loss of your children.”

I gave her the information for Rachel’s Vineyard and suggested she attend a retreat with her daughter. “G, I don’t care if you are 70! You can still heal over this! It is never too late!”

Don’t forget to pray over people for emotional issues, past mistakes, or failures. You may not think it is as important as praying over someone for physical problems, but a sick heart full of condemnation, guilt, or anger hurts the body. I have seen a lot of post-abortive women who have not found healing subconsciously try to destroy themselves. A sick heart can turn into a sick body and sick choices in life. Choices that continue to propel you backward. Choices that put you in a prison of your own making. Why? I think it is because we falsely believe it is safer to “punish” ourselves than to be consciously aware of our irrational fear of eternal punishment. Besides, if we have a horrible life, it really does mean we are sorry. God does not want you to live this way no matter what you have done!

I feel like someone needs to read this who has had an abortion. Or maybe many abortions. You need to know that God loves you and has forgiveness for you. You have made no mistake that is bigger than God’s love for you! God can help you not only forgive yourself and all that were involved, but He can heal that sadness that you feel. Heal that hole in you that you feel can not ever be filled. Jesus can make beauty from ashes! At any age and any stage in your life! Accept His love and forgiveness.

Good Word

Rob Grove

Food for Thought – February 12, 2022.
Good Morning Beautiful People: Start out your Saturday by not being pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart and pursue them with great vigor. Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it, worth the effort, worth the time and worth the fortitude.

Let us not forget that if we want to forget something or someone, never hate it, or never hate him/her. Everything and everyone that you hate is engraved upon your heart; if you want to let go of something, if you want to forget, you cannot hate. Every day, we have to allow ourselves to be loved by the people who really love us, the people who really matter.

Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuits of people to love us, people that don’t even matter, while all that time we waste and the people who do love us have to stand on the sidewalk and watch us beg in the streets! It’s time to put an end to this and start loving those that show you’re a priority and not just an option.

It’s time to give love to those who give love to us through their actions. It’s time for us to let ourselves be loved. Take responsibility going forward for your own happiness, never put it in other people’s hands. Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward.

Lastly always remember this simple saying “If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”💜💜💜

Wasted

2:55 pm and I am 5 minutes early for my teeth cleaning. I grabbed a magazine and waited for my name to be called. A couple of minutes later, a woman came in with 2 small children and checked in. She stated she was really early. “No problem, we will take you in now.” I am busy answering emails and checking Facebook and realized 25 minutes later than I haven’t been called.

“Are they running late today?” “No. On time.” “My appointment was at 3 and it is almost 3:30.” The receptionist looked at her computer “Oh, a woman came in early with her 2 kids for a family cleaning so I just put them into your slot.” “What? She had the appointment after me, but you put her before me because she came in early?” “Yes, did you need to be some where?” ” WTH? “That doesn’t even make sense. I came in before she did.” “Well, sorry. I thought it would just be easier.” Easier for who? Because she had kids? Because you didn’t want to listen to her kids for 45 minutes? What? I took a deep breath and sat down before I went redhead on her.

I complained to the hygienist, to my dentist and anyone else who would listen to me that day. Heck! That week! That was over 10 years ago and it popped up, again, last night, and annoyed me all over again! Minor inconvenience, major annoyance. Ever have any of those? In the big scheme of things, doesn’t mean much. But then it does. Otherwise it wouldn’t keep percolating in your memory bank just to pop up at the strangest of moments. Do you have any memories like this? What is it all about really? Certainly not about a half hour that you can’t ever get back. We all have plenty of those. Dysfunctional family feasts. Listening to a coworker drone on about their weekend. Waiting in line at Target. Stalking old loves or enemies on Facebook. Wasted time you will never get back.

What is it really about? About not being honored? Or valued? Respected? Or being invisible to the world? That in the big scheme of things we don’t really matter? Unfortunately, that is how I felt and how stupid is that!!!

Next time a minor inconvenience causes a major annoyance ask some other quedtions. What do you need? From others? From yourself? From God? If you can’t blow it off, ask what you need to fix this in your heart. Before it gets to autoplay. It might save you from wasting another half hour getting angry or hurt about something or someone that doesn’t really matter any more. Stop wasting time you can never get back. Or at least use it for some wasted fun. Like binge watching Ugly Betty again or FB stalking those people you love to hate. JK!

Just ask God to fix that hole in your heart. Ask Him to show you what the hole is and then remove it from your memory bank. Negative pop ups are just wasted time and energy.