Many years ago, my very wise older sister Kathy stopped me cold mid-rant and said, “Do you need permission? “

What? “

“Do you need permission not to involve yourself with this person anymore? I permit you to stop subjecting yourself to this person’s abuse. I give your permission to end the friendship.”

I was dumbfounded at first and then relieved! I ended my relationship that day and said goodbye to the drama. I just needed someone to say that it was okay to do so because I couldn’t help myself. Ever feel like that?

Why is it that sometimes we hang on to old stuff, new stuff, or even someone else’s stuff that isn’t working for us? Why do we feel we have to continue to struggle to make things work? Or to fix things? Especially with people who are crazy-making companions at best? Sometimes it takes too much energy to pretend someone’s behavior is, well…normal. So why do we do it? Because there is something inside us that wants to complete something that we started. Cross the T’s. Dot the i’s. Finish off the chips. Make sense of it all.

Sometimes it is good to finish everything we started, and sometimes it is just plain wrong. Can anyone hear me out there about this? God isn’t expecting us to fix anyone or any situation. Only He can do that. You aren’t a failure if you can’t or don’t want to hang in there to see something through that was never your burden to bear in the first place. Sometimes it starts out good, and we don’t see the crazy card until we are well into the game. Or sometimes we have shared too much of our secrets or given up too much of ourselves to another person and dread what would happen if all of this ended. Abruptly. What would we lose? Or what would be exposed? So we hang on to something that should have been cut off years ago, worrying about our reputations and our other 6 degrees of separation and hang on to madness to protect ourselves.

But if you can’t fix something, you also can’t protect yourself if someone decides to GO there for whatever reason. I have people who still talk about me from years ago. Now, I call it free publicity.

Don’t worry. I give you all permission today to stop anything that isn’t working for you. I promise you God will pick up the pieces and make wrong out of right. If He is for you anyone who is against you will not win in the end!

Life here on earth is way too short to throw pearls before swine. Give it up and give it to God. Tell the person you are taking a break and giving it a rest. An indefinite pause. Time to let go of the lies, abuse, and negativity. Time to let go of someone or something that is holding you up or holding you back.

Time to break the news. Even if that person you are breaking it to is yourself.

Crazy Fun

Years ago, my ex-boyfriend, Steve, had a roommate Bob who dated a woman named “Sharon.” Bob didn’t care that Sharon was married till he found out that her husband was a Sheriff. One day, Steve came home to find Sharon’s car in their garage, and she was passed out in the backseat. Sharon liked to day-drink and had shown up at their house while Steve was at work. Bob decided to hide her and her vehicle in the garage if the Sheriff did a drive-by.

Steve was angry and told Bob to get rid of Sharon. Especially since the Sheriff had recently trailed Bob, obtained his phone number, and left him a message to leave his wife alone. Or else! Bob drove Sharon’s car to her home, with her still in the back, and parked it outside on the street. He put the keys in the glove, locked the doors, and walked to a nearby bus stop.

It took Bob an hour and a half and 3 connecting buses later to arrive back at his home. He walked in the front door and was greeted by Sharon, drinking a wine cooler. She had woken up, driven the 15 minutes back to Bob’s, and was waiting for him. Like nothing had happened. I remember Steve was furious that they had to hide Sharon and her car again. Luckily, Sharon slept it off and made it back home that night before hubby got off his night shift.

Bob had many more adventures with Sharon before realizing that married women, alcohol, and Sheriffs were not a good mix. And Bob didn’t even drink! He just hung out at bars looking for women in a “position” to make bad decisions. He was attracted to her because she was crazy fun, then later found out she was just plain crazy.

I had forgotten about this story until tonight when one of my guy friends started talking about dating crazy women. We laughed!!! Oh my. I do not miss those days at all. God’s word says not to look in your rearview mirror because you do not live there anymore. I believe sometimes you need to at least take a glance back and realize how glad you are that you don’t.