Flight Confessions

I’m reading Mary Karr’s The Art Of Memoir, and in one chapter, she wrote about getting stuck next to chatty strangers on airplanes. She would rather be trapped with a talker who is painfully or extremely transparent than one-note boring. That transparency is always more interesting than a person who wants to present a glorified “image” of themselves. I agree.


For several years, I frequently flew for work and it was mostly uneventful. My seatmates mostly kept to themselves, and I was only occasionally annoyed. Like the kid who kept kicking the back of my seat. And the nervous passenger that gripped my arm during most of a bumpy flight. Or the woman who snored while continually passing horrendous gas during an overnight flight back from Vegas. But rarely a “talker”.

I recall one trip where a passenger dumped the details of her torrid affair on me like she was in a confessional. Her story lasted the entire flight, and it was more riveting than reading the in-flight magazine. She thanked me as we unboarded, and I just smiled back. It’s easy to listen to someone’s drama if you never have to hear it again. Or again. Or, again, with 20 other versions and no real desire in hell for a solution. Y’all know what I am talking about. With a stranger’s confession, it’s one-and-done unless they ask to Facebook with you. But that is highly unlikely if they just spilled incriminating evidence.

I am writing a memoir about a period in my life, and it’s very freeing, actually. it’s more liberating to be transparent and not give a rat’s ass than trying to create and maintain some image to make ourselves look less imperfectly human.

Besides, it takes a lot of work to be anything other than yourself. Even yourself “in Christ” will be unique and not like any other….just less airplane drama.


Have a great weekend, peeps!

You’ll Never Catch Me Coppers!

I looked up from my computer to see a County Sherrif’s vehicle pull up and park outside my place. I suddenly froze, held my breath and thought ” Yikes! What did I do now?” Then, I exhaled and laughed! What could I possibly have done or DO that would warrant…..well a warrant? Hahahaha!

Isn’t it funny that even though my crazy redhead days are over with, that I am so quick to condemn myself? Before anyone else does? Or before there is any proof of wrong doing? I think we all tend to do that. Or am I the only one who has some “situations” in my past? You know….the ones you are glad happened before Facebook and Instagram were invented?.

Peeps, not only do we need to get over ourselves, we need to get PAST our past.

I am getting too old for this crap. How about you?

Hear Something…

Sometimes we get a word for someone we are going to for help. Help for a fee. Doctor, Lawyer, Dentist, Therapist, Tax guy….you get it. Not that these people are above us, but it just feels awkward. This isn’t a barter club. Hey, if you do my taxes, I will tell you about your future. Seems a bit unprofessional and woo-woo.

But I get it all the time. Maybe you do too. If it truly is from God, it will come out easily, and you will see or feel a lightbulb go off when they receive it.

Today, I had an appointment, and the tech was bustling around the room as God was downloading to me. “Tell her” “God, she looks like she is in a hurry.” “Tell her anyway.” Why do I even argue?

“Do you know what a word of knowledge is?” “No.” “It’s a Christian term when God gives you some information about someone or something that you don’t have prior knowledge about.” If WOK is not in their vocabulary, they are usually WTH……1,2,3 it’s deer in headlights, and then they are stuck like a fly on an adhesive strip. Holy Spirit style.

“God tells me you are a good mom. You are very strict and love your kids very much. You are like a momma bear with them.” Susie laughs and relaxes. “Yes, you sure got that one right on. I am VERY strict.” Her boss, the doctor, replaces her, and before he can leave the room God prompts me again.

” I know you are a Christian. Do you know what a word of knowledge is?”

“No.” I give him the same simple explanation and tell him, ” God tells me he has surrounded you with very smart and efficient staff. They have got your back. There is no backstabbing or sabotage. They are loyal to you and will always be there for you.

His mouth dropped open, and then he smiled “Thank you so much for telling me this. That is so encouraging. Really. Thank you.”

It is so much easier when you just repeat what you hear, relay it when He tells you to and then get out of the way. You don’t need to know why He wants them to hear these words. Could be for now. Could be for later. Could be for a variety of reasons you really don’t need to be privy to.

No matter who someone is or the title they hold….they were created by God and special to Him. He has imprinted their hearts with the desire to hear His voice and be known by Him.

Hear something….say something.

Let’s give them something to talk about after you leave 🙂

Fake Peace

Do you ever feel like you have fake peace? Like you are forcing peace?

I’m at peace. Really!

I’m at peace, dammit!

I’ll just keep spewing bible verses and telling myself I am fine.

At least if I don’t really believe it, I will look good to the people around me. Can’t let anyone know I am struggling.

That feels more like resignation than peace.

Godly peace sometimes feels warm and gooey. Or light and airy. Or you just know that you know that you know….even if everything around you says you don’t. And at times, it is as simple as the quick release of emotional pain or fear.

Fake peace feels like a “go with the flow” snow job.

How do you shovel yourself out? Or, as my Iowan friends say, “scoop” yourself out?

Relationship with the Father. When He feels real to you, the peace becomes real AND easy!

Repeat after me: Father, show me that you are real! Show me how you have been working in my life lately that I may have minimized or overlooked.

Show me the details. Remind me of the smallest details that wouldn’t impress anyone, but I will know it was you.

God’s Timing

When looking for a partner, I have read that you attract what you are rather than what you want. This means you will attract someone at an equal level of your current self-worth or your woundedness. It probably explains why a lot of relationships don’t work out. One person heals and then leaves the unhealed behind because they are no longer a fit.

But what if you could attract who you want or need, even if you are less than your best self? Hmmmmm

Years ago, I met a couple who had recently married. I asked how they had met, and they told me they had been friends for many years. One day they attended church together and, during communion, looked over at each other and realized that they were meant to be together and married two months later. Whoa! I know another couple who worked for the same restaurant chain but in different locations. They had met but hated each other. One day they collided at a work event, and both suddenly knew they were to be married and now have a houseful of kids. Hate to marriage vows? It sounds like the plot for every Hallmark movie I’ve ever seen!

Maybe God intervenes when it is His plan, and it doesn’t matter how much healing you need. It overrides anything in the natural.

Ten-plus years ago, it was common practice at conferences to tell all the sad, lonely singles to pray, write a list of traits you wanted in a mate, and tuck it away in a bible. You were calling those perfect mates into existence! Like a holy version of manifestation 🙂. You weren’t supposed to ask for a hot blonde or tall dark and …. but rather Godly traits. Ha!

So tonight, as I cleaned out some old books in my office, I found my Godly spouse wish list. It must have been at least 15 years old! I was surprised when I read through the 26 traits that every single one was my Dan! Every single one. Even down to the “much taller than me, brown hair and brown eyes.”

God wants to give you EVEN better than the desires of your heart. Maybe your timing isn’t right…..BUT HIS IS!

Just ask Beloved. Just ask.

Starbucks

It’s half priced cold brew at Starbucks today. Hate or love Starbucks I wasn’t going to miss out on a cheap brew! 

I ordered at the screen and reminded them it’s half priced Tuesday. ”Great! Yes we know! Pull ahead.” “Do I have to remind you at the window?” “Nope, come on up.”

So of course you know what happens. I drive back thru and ask them to credit me back on my app. I was super nice about it because my days of drive thru iced coffee blunder meltdowns are long gone.

A manager helped the young employee to credit me back as I smiled and patiently waited. This girl just stood back from the window and looked terrified. I think she was expecting me to turn into a Karen, start screaming and toss my drink at her. Too many Karen videos circulating lately of food fights at fast food pick up windows.

I’m too old to throw stuff or start screaming at strangers. Especially before my morning coffee kicks in 🙂

Be kind at the drive-thru!

Perfect Peace

Death in the family? Exposed to COVID? I was trying to think up a good lie to cancel my colonoscopy for the second time this year. “Lord, I’m worried; I just can’t handle any more crap :).” Big Sky Daddy laughs. “Who said it will be bad news?” I reluctantly put on my big girl pants, did the prep, and showed up 4 days later for my appointment.

“Adam,” my 20-something nurse tried to make small talk, but I was too terrified about more polyps showing up to be my chatty self. However, Big Sky Daddy started repeating, “He will get more training. He will feel more secure with more training.” Oh great. Adam is now going to pop an IV into a vein, and you tell me he needs more training? Nope this is all in my mind, and I think I am trying to distract myself from…….” training, training, training” Aggghhhh ok, ok Daddy God, you need to give me an opening if this is really you. Seconds later….

Adam: So, Jeanne, where do you live? I live close by, so it has been a BLESSING for me.
Me (Blessing?): Me too. God keeps telling me that you will get more training and feel much happier and more confident. Do you need training for something?”

Adam’s mouth dropped open, and I could see a light bulb had gone off. He doesn’t seem shocked that I gave him a word and thought it might be about ministry. He had found God a year ago, and it drastically changed his life. So much so that friends and family don’t know who he is anymore. Adam feels called to evangelism and wants more “training” in that area.

I continued with the word and told him that he also has a spiritual calling for evangelistic healing. He will lay hands on the sick, and they will be healed and turn their hearts to God. I told him about Praying Medic, and before I could consider how it might jeopardize his job, I asked him to pray over me.

Adam smiled, put his hand on my shoulder, and enthusiastically prayed that I have peace and a perfectly normal colon. He prayed for several minutes. Outloud! Even as staff walked by! I loved it. I calmed down, and moments later, an OR nurse came to retrieve me.

As Adam waved goodbye, I was glad I hadn’t lied my way out of the appointment. I would have missed this lovely gift today! Not only to openly share my faith with a stranger in a hospital setting but to go into a procedure I had dreaded unafraid and feeling God’s peace.

Thanks, Adam. You made my day perfect….inside and out 🙂

Remember To Ripple

A friend “Rita” once read a story on my blog about me giving a stranger a word from God in public. “What do you think they said later?”

“To God? Themselves? Or…”

“No, to like a friend or family member. Hell, I get excited when the person in front of me at Caribou buys my coffee. I tell everyone! I mean, don’t you ever wonder?”

“Hmmm, sometimes I wish I could be a fly on the wall. Not to pat me on the back, because I nailed it, but wondering if it affected their belief in God’s goodness. That He really understands them. Or that He sees better plans for them than they do for themselves. Most of the time, I don’t ever run into them again.”

I recently recalled that conversation after I ran into a server, “Peg,” that I had given a word to last month. I was at lunch with a large group when I looked up to see Peg helping our server bring our meals to the table. Peg gave me a huge smile, said hello, and then squeezed my shoulder and whispered, “Thank you!.” A friend who had been with me when I gave Peg a word remarked, “Oh! She remembered you. Well, you are kind of a hard person to forget.” I laughed “She didn’t really remember me; she remembered God’s word for her.”

That made my day. I want people to remember God and how it made them feel. We all travel an unsteady and unpredictable road at times. It makes it easier when we don’t feel invisible to God. That the God of this universe cares about us as individuals.

Never doubt that your stepping out to give a word, laying hands for healing, or just being kind doesn’t make an impact. It causes a ripple effect, just like a free coffee at Caribou.

This week, make it a point to be God’s boots on the ground.

Don’t think you make a difference? We all heal this world, one person at a time.

Have a great week, Beloveds!

A Listening Heart

The other day I was missing my car keys. “I just had them! I am such an airhead!” My eyes were suddenly drawn to a dresser in my bedroom. The top was covered by a mountain of books, hair products, and a large pile of clothes I had just taken out of the dryer. ”

“Nope, can’t be there. I just tossed clothes on it, and I would have noticed them.” As I started to leave my bedroom to search for a more likely place, I heard, “ We’ve already talked about this. Look in the first place that comes to you, even if it doesn’t make any sense. How many times did you find a misplaced item in a spot that you kept hearing in your heart, but it didn’t sound logical? Then when you finally gave up the search, you looked in the place that didn’t make sense… and there it was found! From now on, look there first. I turned around, lifted the clothes, and there were my keys.

As I wrote this, I heard,” This is the difference between hearing my voice in your head versus in your heart. Your head will try to persuade you by logic, but your heart will know the truth and propel you to obey. Which do you follow? I will always lead you in the right direction, but you will get there more quickly and without stress if you can hear me in your heart first.”

“How do I do that, Big Sky Daddy?”

“Slow down and stop trying to do everything by yourself. “

“That’s it?”

“Trust.”

“I trust you.”

“No, you need to trust yourself that you really do hear me.”

And the beat goes on…….

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Pro Choice?

Why is it only a baby if you want one?

I regret my abortion. It was many years ago and I bought the big lie that it was only a blob of cells. I was afraid and thought abortion was the only solution to my situation. Blob of cells? It’s legal? Let’s go!

If you think being pro-choice is supporting women’s rights you just bought another big lie.

I numbed my guilt, shame, remorse, etc. for years with drugs and alcohol. Subconsciously, I was trying to kill myself too. Do you think I was the only woman who handled my decision this way?

The several women I know who are “in your face” pro-choice have never had an abortion. One even has 4 kids! She said to me several times, “Was it really so bad? Look at all the things you got to do because you didn’t have children.” WTH? Look at what I missed out on too. I finally said, “Well, which of your children would you have eliminated so you could have done more things?” Crickets. It’s only a baby when you want one. Or FOUR.

But what about women who will be forced to have illegal back-alley abortions? If a woman really wants an abortion she will find a safe one. Don’t buy that lie either.

The biggest lie of them all? It’s only a baby when you want one.

Had an abortion? Need emotional healing too? Check out Rachel’s Vineyard www.rachelsvineyard.org Catholic and Non-denominational healing retreats.