A Prison Of Our Own Making

Years ago, the Holy Spirit prompted me to go to a clothing store I frequented. I wasn’t in the mood to shop but knew HE probably had something else in mind as that usually is the case. Several moments after entering the store so did an older woman named G, whom I had prayed for several months earlier. She had a cold then and was too weak to shop until Jesus blew some life into her. She started complaining about a handful of issues, and I offered to pray again. “Well, it is all a part of life, and I think it is good that I learn to deal with all of my issues! But please pray for me again as the last time it helped.” I smiled and thought, “OK God, so this is why you had me drive over.” Easy! So I prayed for her, and a heartbeat later, G, the store owner, and I started talking about abortions.

It was one of those Holy Spirit directed rabbit trails. G defiantly tells me that she believes we need to hang on to the abortion option. It saves lives. HUH? Whose life? G is 70 and tells me she has had three abortions, and they all took place during her marriage. Her daughter was a nightmare to deal with, and she believes their lives would have been ruined to have had any more children. Her husband, a Catholic, is still having a hard time with it. “How about you?” I asked. I had worked in a post-abortive ministry, and I have never met a post-abortive woman who did not need some kind of healing. G said ” They happened, and it was for the best, and in fact, I brought my daughter in to have one too. I felt like it was the right thing to do, but she defiantly became pregnant again and is now living with the father. My husband and I were unhappy about that, but you know this little granddaughter has become the love of our lives.”.
Wow! For the next 20 minutes, we talked about her three abortions. She belongs to a liberal church that she claims supports abortion as an option. She believes she does not feel any shame, guilt, or anger about her actions.
“Can I pray for you for this?”
G replied, “I don’t see how it would help but sure, go ahead.”
So I silently laid my hands on G, and as the Holy Spirit touched her heart, she started to cry.
I said, “God loves you G.”
G”Yes I know, but I feel so terribly sad.”
“Yes, G, you are probably grieving the loss of your children.”

I gave her the information for Rachel’s Vineyard and suggested she attend a retreat with her daughter. “G, I don’t care if you are 70! You can still heal over this! It is never too late!”

Don’t forget to pray over people for emotional issues, past mistakes, or failures. You may not think it is as important as praying over someone for physical problems, but a sick heart full of condemnation, guilt, or anger hurts the body. I have seen a lot of post-abortive women who have not found healing subconsciously try to destroy themselves. A sick heart can turn into a sick body and sick choices in life. Choices that continue to propel you backward. Choices that put you in a prison of your own making. Why? I think it is because we falsely believe it is safer to “punish” ourselves than to be consciously aware of our irrational fear of eternal punishment. Besides, if we have a horrible life, it really does mean we are sorry. God does not want you to live this way no matter what you have done!

I feel like someone needs to read this who has had an abortion. Or maybe many abortions. You need to know that God loves you and has forgiveness for you. You have made no mistake that is bigger than God’s love for you! God can help you not only forgive yourself and all that were involved, but He can heal that sadness that you feel. Heal that hole in you that you feel can not ever be filled. Jesus can make beauty from ashes! At any age and any stage in your life! Accept His love and forgiveness.

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