It has been almost two weeks since I needed to take any pain pills. As much as I needed them, I really hated taking them. I would continually space out in the middle of my sentences or my thoughts. Like watching a video and then suddenly putting it on pause! Then forgetting you were even watching a video!
The last day I was at North, before getting transferred to the TCU, I was one big space case. Just lying in the hospital bed, spacing out. But…God kept illuminating a nurse that kept coming into my room who looked upset. At the end of her shift, she stopped in to see if I needed anything else. My mind suddenly became clear and I blurted out “Are you okay?” She just nodded. Then I told her God had a word for her that I wanted to share. My spirit cut through the mental and physical haze, and God revealed and confirmed a family issue that was going on, how a family member had betrayed her and how He would resolve it. That she wasn’t supposed to worry. Her eyes welled up with tears and she said: “how did you know all that?” I said” I didn’t. That was God.” Now you might be thinking……girl you were high! Ha! Did that really happen? Yes, it did. The nurse was so touched by God’s truth and wisdom AND His love for her, that she said “I need to hug you” and suddenly leaned down and actually laid her body down on top of mine and put her arms around me!
I certainly didn’t have the physical or mental capabilities that day to love on her or anyone else….BUT my heart was open to His prompting. No drug could shut that or Him down.
So, are we called to love? Or are we love? If God’s spirit is in us, and God is love……are we not God’s love? Not on our own accord, but through Him? Regardless if we are in the mood or not?
Those of you who know me well, know that I am not always the nicest or sweetest Jeanne! I can be impatient, and easily annoyed or angered. And don’t even try to play me or try to make me jealous! Yikes! That is one big shitstorm waiting to happen! Ha!
But can’t we all be like that? I’d like to blame in on my red hair, but I think it is my human-ness. Our human-ness. Trying to do things on my own. Love on my own.
So are you called to love? Or are you love?