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rambles, rants and revelations

One redhead's journey to get over herself.

You rebel, you!

Ever feel like you’re going thru the terrible twos, again? Toddler tantrum dejavu? Not talking about your kids acting up. I am talking about you, boo.

Lately, I feel like I am folding my arms, clenching my teeth and I don’t care if I sit at the table all night. I am not going to eat your Brussels sprouts and you can’t make me!

Then I remember I made them, myself ! I really really want those Brussels Sprouts but I’d rather drive thru Culver’s. It’s familiar, faster and a lot less work…..

Kids, sometimes you have to stop and realize you aren’t fighting anyone. Sometimes y’all just rebelling against yourself.

God isn’t growing you up. 🤫The devil isn’t plotting against you because you are God’s anointed 😇. It’s just YOU! You are just fighting you and making it impossible to succeed. Especially when you really want to change or do something new.

It’s hard to go the course when anything new feels strange. You expect the earth to stand still and make it effortless. Ha! There is a reason it’s called your comfort zone!

God has me learning some new stuff and I feel like I have been kicking and screaming the whole way. Even though I really want this and keep moving each foot in the right direction ……it feels like wading thigh high thru mud.

God is leading me down this path for some future reason. I know it and just need to press on. Milk, cookies and a nap? No time for that. Just got to put on my big girl pants and press on.

Ever feel like that? Like why am I doing this? It isn’t even really that enjoyable. Or comfortable. It’s actually kind of hard and stressful. Then later you realized you were glad you muddled thru. You’re not so dumb after all. And it not only challenged you but stretched you as well. Like Gumby 🙂 Ok… well maybe like Pokey.

Ask God to help move you along His path. With peace. With joy. With excitement. Even if it initially smells and tastes like Brussels sprouts.

Besides, eventually you’ll figure out that God and bacon makes everything better.

Press on Peeps!

The Love Seed

Friday ramble…..There is a middle-aged woman I will call “Milly”, who is a Messianic Jew. She can’t talk to her Jewish friends about her belief in Jesus nor her Christian friends about why she hasn’t just become a Christian. It’s been 20 years and no one really wants to hear Milly’s explanation, they just want her to choose a belief system that they feel comfortable with. Milly doesn’t ever want to talk about religion, she just wants to talk about how amazing her life is because she believes there is a power greater than herself. That’s it. If we can’t agree on doctrine, can we at least start by agreeing on the goodness of God? God or Godhead?

Years ago, I frequented a consignment shop. The owner, “Lisa”, was a Buddhist Jew. I wasn’t sure how that one worked and neither was she. Before her divorce, she was part of her husband’s “”Christian church” that was more like a cult. Dresses, no make-up, men are the ruler etc. When she left him, she left that version of God behind because it was too painful. For several years, the Holy Spirit would frequently send me to Lisa’s store to pray over people. “No, I have laundry to do! I need a shower! I ……” But He would put my shoes on and drive me over to the store, anyway. It got to the point, that when I would walk in Lisa would say “Girl, you are scaring me! I knew you were coming and they are in the back. One has the flu and the other has back pain!” Women would come into the store and start talking OUTLOUD about their health issues. Lisa saw numerous people healed over the years and I didn’t have to say one word about my non-denominational beliefs. Not to her or those who needed a touch from God. The power of God in action changes hearts. Not a list of man-made rules. Can we just let the Holy Spirit do His job?

God spoke to me several days before a group of us met two Muslim women (mother and daughter), after church. They did not want to attend our service but would meet us afterward for lunch. God told me the teenager was very creative, emotionally struggling, and used art to express her emotions. That she had a kind heart but felt misunderstood. He reminded me that I had an extra art kit filled with colored pencils and markers that I should give her. We had a lovely lunch with them and the young girl was visibly touched when I handed her the gift, but even more so when I relayed what God had told me about her and her future. There was no come to Jesus meeting or sinners prayer, just a love seed planted by the goodness of God. One plants, one waters and one harvests. Can we just love on people and not have conversion as our end goal?

This weekend….meet people where they are at with God’s love. That includes your family. No talk of politics, religion, or flu vaccines. Lamb or Ham…..just try to be nice 🙂 If you can’t be nice at least bring pie.

Or better yet share a story of God’s goodness in your life. Hard to argue with that.

Blessed Passover and Easter, peeps!

The Dying Have Their Own Agenda

“The dying have their own agenda”

The night before Dan launched the hospice nurse sat us down for her “hard talk”. She told us “The dying have their own agenda as to when they are going to leave this world. So if you’re someone who is going to feel guilty or cheated because you weren’t there when they take their last breath, you need to get this. They might leave just when you step out of the room. Don’t wait. Tell Dan tonight how much you loved him, share good memories, and it’s okay to tell him that you will miss him but that you will be okay. It may not seem like it, but he can still hear you.”

I was glad for her frank talk but I thought he can’t be leaving this soon. Just that morning, another hospice nurse had told us that Dan had probably 4-6 more days. I had to go back to Minneapolis, for a day, but maybe he would hang on until I returned. Besides, I didn’t even know what to say and didn’t want to break down. He had told me earlier in the day that I needed to be his “positive reinforcement” and to believe for his healing.

Several hours later, I slipped into Dan’s room and sat on the bed. I leaned down close to whisper in his ear so a group in the next room couldn’t hear me. Lord please help me to say goodbye.

I was surprised at how easily my feelings for him poured out of me. I told Dan I loved him and was grateful for every minute I had gotten with him. I shared some special memories of him and our trips and asked forgiveness for not always being a pleasant redhead 🙂. I shared that I had never felt loved by anyone as I did by him and that he had helped to heal a big hole in me. I cried as I told him that I would miss him terribly, but that I would be okay.

I sat back up and looked down at Dan’s face and saw one large beautiful tear coming down from his left eye. I knew he had heard me and I wanted to hold onto that precious perfect moment forever. The presence of the Holy Spirit had filled the room and I could feel His eternal love for both of us. I was sad, but yet I felt joyful as the realization hit me that I would see Dan again.

The next morning, I briefly stepped out of his room to dig something out of my purse and Dan left. Like, I am not waiting around for you to find some gadget in that Bermuda Triangle purse of yours. The purse he bought me because my old one wasn’t “big enough”. I was like WTHeck? I was just talking to you!

I am so glad the hospice nurse had given us her hard talk. I may have mistakenly thought I had more time to think of the perfect way to say see you later….

Please don’t wait to share with someone how you feel.

Someone needs to hear this…. you can do this and I love you!

Always On Time

As Dan and I waited for our lunch at Applebees, a young couple walked in and sat near us. The woman was striking with very black hair and large dark eyes. I tried to turn back to our conversation but God had other plans as He continued with WOK and prophetic downloads. “Ok, ok. I am on my way Daddy God.” I wasn’t in the mood and felt self conscious as I got up to give the word. I was glad the place wasn’t busy as I stood in front of their booth.

“Excuse me, I am not trying to evangelize you and just wanted to tell you what God just said to me about you.” I told her that God had told me she was beautiful inside and out. She was kind hearted and He desired that she live a life of peace. That He wanted to take her out of a life of drama. That her life would be interesting and fulfilling if she would be willing to be open to new people and new experiences.”

She looked shocked “Who told you this?” “ God did” I glanced over at her companion and by the huge grin on his face I could tell that I had just read her mail.

“Again, I am not trying to evangelize you and…..”. She smiled “That’s okay. Thank you so much. I needed to hear this.”

I went back to our table and our meal was served soon after. I noticed she glanced over at me numerous times and wondered what she was thinking.

Maybe this experience for her was the start of many other “interesting” non-drama experiences and I prayed that it was.

Always step out. Always. I have never had a bad experience sharing God’s love and encouragement. I believe it is because God has already supernaturally prepared the receiver’s heart to receive. God’s word always seems to be right on time.

You are known by God

Our server was a cute young girl with a huge smile. She dropped off menus and sped off in the opposite direction. God whispered “student”.
God I think every young person working in a restaurant is a student. That must just be me! I turned back to the menu and several minutes later, Dan said “Our server must be a manager, she is just running all over the place.” I looked up to see her on the opposite side of the large room. “Student” I heard again. Nope, thats got to be me. She probably is a manager. She served our meals and when she came back with the bill I heard again. STUDENT. Ok, Daddy God I hear you!

“Are you a student? You have 6 months left?”
“Yes, how did you know? I am a nursing student”
“Neo-natal?”
“What! Yes I want to work with babies. Seriously, how do you know?”
“God told me. Your clinicals will be easier now too. Not like the mental health one you just had”
Her mouth dropped open. God seriously had her attention and obviously her class schedule.

God went on to tell her how much He loved her and that He had her back. That this Fall she would be so happy she chose this profession and that she would know in her heart this was her calling. I assured her that He was the perfect parent and not critical and demanding perfection. She stood at our table in awe at how much God loved her that He would speak through a stranger.

She went on to tell us how she loved school and nursing, but that her father was not happy that she just wanted to be a nurse and adamant that she further her studies to become a nurse practitioner but she wasn’t interested. How she felt bad about how she had strayed away from God this past year and had just recently changed her ways. That she really missed that connection with Him.

God told her that He loved her just as she was. I opened up my bag and pulled out a $20. “Here, He told me to give you this.” Dan, who had been sitting quietly, pulled out some cash and added to her tip which almost equaled our bill.

She was delighted at the big tip, thanked us and said she couldn’t wait to tell her mother later that night what we had told her. “Great! God loves you so much and knows who you are. We could have gone anywhere but He sent us here tonight just to tell you.”

She stood at our table for several more minutes and just smiled at us. I could tell she wanted to stay longer and talk but it was time to move on. Dan turned to me and said “How do you do that?” I don’t know, but it isn’t any skill I have. The easiest times are when I just repeat what I hear God say and try not to put the pieces together myself. At some point you just get out of the way and realize it ain’t about you, boo.

Never doubt that your interactions with others are insignificant. God is always speaking to us. All of us. But, we can’t always hear Him ourselves. Help someone hear Him this week. Spread His love.

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God cares about everything!

A beautiful truck pulled up next to me as I was pumping gas.

Hmmmm Is it Gray? Green? Greenish Gray?

I couldn’t tell but it was the prettiest color I had seen in a long time. I wanted to ask the driver when he got out but he had his head down and didn’t look open to conversation.
Oh just ask him what color it is. He isn’t going to bite your head off. I kept being prompted to ask him, but felt stupid.
Finally I blurted out “Beautiful truck, is it green or gray?”

A huge smile crossed his face.

“Both I guess. A Greenish Gray, I think. Thanks you made my day!”.

“Really?”

“I just bought it a couple of days ago and really loved the color. Today I was having second thoughts. So thanks so much for mentioning it.”

As I drove away I realized it was God who kept prompting me to say something. As bizarre as that may sound, I know it’s the truth. We can tend to think that God just gives BIG words. Especially to strangers. Big words about jobs. Changes. Healing revelations. Something life altering that will bring tears to the recipient. But God even cares about the little things. Like reassuring His kids about the unique paint job of a new truck they just bought.

We really make this too hard. Feel prompted to say or do something and it doesn’t go away? Just do it!

As long as it isn’t mean, you might just make someone’s day 🙂

Rock on peeps!

Time To Get Unstuck

Are you tired of being stuck? You might just be the captain of your own dysfunctional Carnival Cruise!

We store thoughts or information in our minds and store beliefs in our hearts. Thoughts = beliefs = action. How do some of your thoughts become beliefs? By attaching emotions to it. The more times you attach emotions to a thought the stronger that belief gets. That is why it doesn’t take more than a heartbeat to get your blood boiling when you repeatedly think about that person that hurt you. It is more than a memory and it has now become a belief that has a very quick trigger. That is also why it is really important to break that circuit by sharing good stories or testimonies.

Why? Because we have been taught about life from stories since we were small children. Some good. Some bad. Unfortunately, we continue to tell ourselves stories that are lies, no longer true or keeping us stuck. When we share testimonies or hear testimonies of God’s goodness, healing, provision, etc. it stirs up emotions in us. We feel the reality of God! We feel what He can do and will do. It speaks the miracle or action prophetically into our own lives. When enough of those stories get imprinted into our hearts, it becomes a belief. These beliefs give us hope and propel us forward. When we are hopeless we remain stuck. The more it is imprinted, the stronger the belief gets. Good or bad. That is why it is easier to believe God in some areas and not in others. We just haven’t attached enough good or Godly emotions or proof to the areas we struggle in.

Purpose this week to share testimonies of God’s goodness in your life. Not only will it help someone else, but it will remind you of Him. I am tired of being stuck by some of the negative stories I continue to tell myself. It is time to put some emotions to the good stuff, so we can call more of it into our lives. God told me to make the month of March a march forward month. How about you?

Share your testimonies this week and let me know how you not only change the atmosphere around you…..but how it changes the beliefs in your heart!

March on, beloveds!

Dead Daddy Roulette

“Hi Dad! How are you?”

It’s 6:00 pm and I had just entered his unit. The tv was blaring and he made no movement as I walked past his chair.

“Dad?” I looked down to see his chin resting on his chest, mouth open and he didn’t appear to be breathing.

Oh crap! Did I just win dead daddy roulette?

Don’t hate me, but I am not looking forward to pulling that short straw! Just a matter of time before I or one of my sisters are going to walk in to find him permanently asleep.

Not on my watch, Papi! 😎 Ha!

“Dad! Dad!”

He quickly sits up. “Don’t ever do that again!!!”

“What? Wake you up? Or wake you up from the dead?”

“Next time, just let me be”

“Ok, but I thought you were dead. You weren’t breathing”

“ That’s how I sleep.”

“But you weren’t……

“I want to make it to 100!”

Yikes! 100? Most of the time, I don’t think you will make it till the end of the week.

Lord, please help me to find the time to visit him more often. Help him to open his heart to you too. You know I have tried. It’s on your watch now. Help him home.

God sees your goodness!

When I got off the plane in Phoenix I was surprised to see 5 Delta employees waiting, in a line, with wheel chairs. A man flagged me down, when he saw my cane, and asked if I needed a ride to baggage claim. “no, I am okay” . “Are you sure? Its almost a mile walk.” Ahhh. ok. My ankle is throbbing and I don’t think I can make a mile.

I got in the chair and felt really self conscious. “You don’t have any carts here like at MSP? “No.” “You’d think with all of the senior snow birds that flock here, you would have a fleet of them.” “No. We’re the fleet and we are glad to help.”

He pushes me to baggage and won’t let me get out of the chair. “I’ll grab your bag and wait with you until your friends get here.” I assure him I am okay, but he insists on waiting with me. He then runs to get several tourist guides as he wants me to “enjoy my stay”.

I feel stupid sitting in the chair and I try to ignore the people walking by giving me a sad look like…..I wonder whats wrong with her? I wish my friends would arrive so I can escape this helicopter attendant. He is sweet, but I am trying to avoid eye contact. I am also looking around to see if the doctor I saw earlier, on the plane, is picking up her baggage as I have a word for her.

God suddenly illuminates the man’s face to me and I turn to look at him. Really look at him. John looks almost 70, has dyed reddish hair and reminds me of Woody Allen sans eye glasses. “Are you a teacher? Or a trainer? God is showing me something about that.”

His mouth drops open! “Well actually I am a retired optometrist and I lived in Costa Rica and some other countries for awhile and would teach remote towns and village eye doctors how to set up an eye clinic and treat their patients more efficiently. I am actually waiting for my paperwork so I can go teach in Mexico.” WOW! I tell him that God is showing me a picture of him teaching and training others and that he is good at it. He can relate to anyone he speaks with and then God gives me some detailed information as to how he is making a difference.

John is a little freaked out but thanks me for relaying the information. My friends show up and he insists on pushing me to the car rental shuttle bus.

I continue to tell him what God is telling me and I can tell my friends think it is a little odd, but I am getting used to these public WOK. Ha! One friend tells him “yes she is very psychic” Well kind of, but it is the God kind of psychic. Ha!

A week later, of course I run into John, again, as I am looking for a Starbucks while waiting for my return flight. He remembers me, waves and asks if I want to hear some adventures he has had abroad. Sure! I love stories! I sat for almost a half hour listening to some incredible stories. “You have got to write a book! I would buy it” He smiles and tells me he used to love to write and thinks he may do that once he gets to Mexico.

I thanked him and walked back to my gate. I am glad we met and I hope he writes that book! Never underestimate what God can and will do through you. At any time, in any place and with anyone.

Makes my day every time God gives me a word for someone. I think it blesses me more than it does the other person.

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