Agenda

“The dying have their own agenda”

The night before Dan launched the hospice nurse sat us down for her “hard talk”. She told us “The dying have their own agenda as to when they are going to leave this world. So if you’re someone who is going to feel guilty or cheated because you weren’t there when they take their last breath, you need to get this. They might leave just when you step out of the room. Don’t wait. Tell Dan tonight how much you loved him, share good memories, and it’s okay to tell him that you will miss him but that you will be okay. It may not seem like it, but he can still hear you.”

I was glad for her frank talk but I thought he can’t be leaving this soon. Just that morning, another hospice nurse had told us that Dan had probably 4-6 more days. I had to go back home for a day, but maybe he would hang on until I returned. Besides, I didn’t even know what to say and didn’t want to break down. Dan had told me earlier in the day that I needed to be his “positive reinforcement” and to believe for his miraculous healing.

Several hours later, I slipped into Dan’s room and sat on the bed. I leaned down close to whisper in his ear so a group in the next room couldn’t hear me. Lord please help me to say goodbye.

I was surprised at how easily my feelings for him poured out of me. I told Dan I loved him and was grateful for every minute I had gotten with him. I shared some special memories of him and our trips and asked forgiveness for not always being a pleasant redhead. I shared that I had never felt loved by anyone as I did by him and that he had helped to heal a big hole in my heart. I cried as I told him that I would miss him terribly, but that I would be okay.

I sat back up and looked down at Dan’s face and saw one large beautiful tear coming down from his left eye. I knew he had heard me and I wanted to hold onto that precious perfect moment forever. The presence of the Holy Spirit filled the room and I could feel God’s eternal love for both of us. I was sad, but yet I felt joyful as the realization hit me that I would see Dan again.

Early the next morning, I briefly stepped out of Dan’s room to dig something out of my purse and seconds later he left. Like, I am not waiting around for you to find some gadget in that Bermuda Triangle purse of yours. The purse he bought me because my old one wasn’t “big enough”. I was like WTHeck? I was just talking to you!

I am so glad the hospice nurse had given us her hard talk. I may have mistakenly thought I had more time to think of the perfect way to say see you later….

Please don’t wait to share with someone how you feel.

Someone needs to hear this…. you can do this and I love you!

Sonlight

Never fails to amaze me how tulips will bend and reach towards the sunlight.

Reminds me of people. God usually sends me atheists, new agers, unbelieving believers, or those who have been hurt by the church. I have found that deep down everyone wants proof that there is a God. A real time God who knows them by name. Easier to bend and reach for the light of the Son if you know you are loved and accepted. Without judgement. Regardless of how long you have hated or denied the existence of He who has created you.

Never too late…. Lord open my eyes and heart to you and your goodness!

Babies From Ashes

The following is a story from my friend Tamara… Beauty from ashes over and over and over……

One of my friends kept trying to get pregnant and eventually just could not medically try anymore. While she lay in ICU she was wheeled to a recovery room and shared a room with a woman. The woman began to talk to her and as they talked the woman said, ” Do you want a baby, my daughter is about to have a baby and doesn’t want it?
My friend did not know what was happening because it was so fast that she and her husband took foster care classes and became the foster parents to a newborn that they watched come into the world.
Over time they became one of the top foster care families in the county. And now have officially adopted five.
They became known as the couple who has so much love to share that babies healed when placed with them. Children have had legs become straight, and be healed mentally and emotionally.
If you ask my friend she would say God called her to motherhood. She knew she was supposed to be a mother. She just didn’t know how it would happen. To God be the Glory it is happening. 🔥🙌💕

No Longer A Fit

When I put my shoes on to run to Cub Foods, God told me to donate my coat at a nearby Goodwill on my way home. Ok. No problem. I had lost a little weight so it was big on me anyway. I pulled into the Goodwill donation bay, took off my coat, checked the pockets for any future winning lottery tickets, and handed it to the donation clerk. She gave me a puzzled look, probably because it was the middle of winter, and then tossed it in a bin.

On the drive home, God continued to speak to me about how we hang onto things that no longer fit us. Things that are no longer good for us. Or beneficial. Why? Because it feels familiar. Comfortable. Predictable. Hard to turn the page and get to that next chapter when we have a permanent and immovable bookmark.

What causes us to hang on to old crap? Fear of the unknown. Fear that things could get worse. Or worse yet……they could get better and we wouldn’t know how to handle ourselves. Or anyone else. Think about it peeps! What old coat are you unwilling to part with even though it no longer fits you and where you want to go? Or need to go? Or will be bored to death if you don’t go? I don’t want to be on my deathbed sorry that I played it safe. I just want to be smiling because I DARED to play! Dared to draw outside of the lines! Left the fenced-in area!

Make a decision to make one commitment to yourself this year to move forward. Don’t know what that is? Ask the big Guy. He knows. We have an ever-forward-moving God! He is never stagnant. Me? I am asking for His wisdom this year. His wisdom in ALL THINGS. I am ready to move forward. Even if I am screaming and freaked out on the way!

Join me?

Sometimes Love Tells A Lie

One night Dan and I visited my 96-year-old father in his assisted living apartment. Dan got into my dad’s wheelchair and started doing wheelies around the room. Dan was the biggest kid I knew and never missed a chance to play.

Dan finally stopped the chair in front of my Dad’s recliner “Do you mind if I marry your daughter?” I was shocked as I didn’t know this was coming. A man usually asks your Father when you aren’t there but Dan was up for the weekend and had asked to see him.

Without missing a beat my dad responded, ” Why? Do you HAVE to get married?”

Dan laughed “No seriously. I’m being respectful. I want your blessing.” My father looked at me and said “Well Jeanne do what you want. But does Dan golf?”

I looked at Dan and mouthed. “Say yes”

Dan nodded, “Yes. Yes, I do”

My father’s face lit up. “Dan the man! I knew you were a good man, Dan!”

Later, after we left:

Dan “I don’t like lying. I don’t golf.”

Me: “You just made an old man happy. Golfing is a requirement to marry one of his daughters.

“Ok, but it’s still lying”

I laughed. My father at 96 was highly unlikely to get Dan out on a course with him. But Dan always wanted to be truthful, honest, and do the right thing.

My father died 2 months later.

Elvis

5 pm: I parked my car and walked slowly towards the nursing home entrance. I wanted to pray over my cousin Susie and wasn’t sure how my Auntie Evonne and several other family members would react. I decided I would just pray quietly so it wouldn’t offend anyone.

I introduced myself to the first nurse I saw and told her I was looking for my aunt. She flashed me a huge smile “Oh you just missed them! Your aunt and her granddaughter just left for dinner 20 minutes ago, but they’ll be back.”

Yay! I’m alone and can pray in tongues now!

“Ok. I’d like to see my cousin Susie Johnson. What room is she in?”

“Hmmm I don’t think she is here. I think she is gone, but let me check her room”

As I waited for the nurse to return, I glanced down both long hallways looking for any sign of residents. It was so quiet that I figured since it was dinner time that they must all be in the dining room.

The nurse reappeared from a room with an armful of towels “ Yes. She’s gone.”

“Gone? For dinner?”

The nurse smiled ” No, no ….as in passed on. I think she left right after your aunt did, but you can go in and see her if you want. Room 102” Then she turned around and walked away.

I was like WTH? Passed on? Nurse Jackie just said “gone” like my cousin was only temporarily preoccupied. Maybe away dining on some gravy lathered mystery meat. Or in the shower. I then got on the phone to call my aunt and cousins to tell them that sadly Elvis had already left the building. Evonne replied “ Ok, well we haven’t ordered yet so it will be awhile”. What? Was I the only one distressed?

After the calls, I walked into Susie’s room and laid my hands on her feet and briefly prayed. I didn’t know about dead raising back then so I didn’t stay long. I finished my prayers and then apologized that I hadn’t gotten there earlier.

As I walked out Nurse Jackie waved to me and called out” Have a nice evening ! I’ll tell Evonne you were here!”

Today, I relayed this old story to my cousin Tom and we both started laughing! Like hysterically laughing! Isn’t that terrible! He said “they must see so much death that it no longer affects them.” Maybe.

I still wish I would have gotten there earlier. Time here is short. Please never pass up an opportunity to pray with someone.  Or tell them you and Big Sky Daddy loves them. Even if it’s by phone or text. Some day we will all leave the building and only the living will have regrets.

Make it a great week peeps!

Speak Up

I am a part of a weekly prophetic mentoring group that meets thru Zoom. This week, the leader asked if anyone wanted to share a time when they saw God working in their life. I decided to sit back as I wanted others to share as I frequently add to the conversation. God kept pressing me to say something and I thought it was just me. Nope. Going to drink my Cold Brew and be quiet. Finally, 10 minutes before the class ended, I gave in and told a quick story about bad boyfriends and how God wants us to wait for our Boaz. I started to prophesy to the single women in the group that God needed to pick out their next relationship and to stop grabbing onto the next thing who “looked” Godly. Time would tell if they were. Several people said, “Oh you are speaking to me! I needed to hear this”

One woman wrote in the chat that she had been waiting for me to say something as she knew I was supposed to. I thought really? Maybe that was the struggle in staying quiet.

What is the lesson here? If you think someone might have a word for you OR for the group speak up! Months earlier, in that same group, I said hey “so and so” I think you have a word for this person and it is JUST one word. He said the one word and then the rest rolled out and it meant so much to the recipient. We make this too hard. God is continually speaking to us ALL. Share what you are hearing.

Ha! Except for the time when a person told me God wanted me to join his MLM downline. I knew that was the “only $50 a month on auto-ship” devil.

Chips In The Oil

Recently, I was talking to a guy friend. Former boyfriend actually. I asked him if he had met anyone interesting and he said “no, my life is pretty boring lately. Besides, I have changed so much. I used to manipulate women with my sad stories and am just too old for the games now.” “Sad stories?” “Yes. I used to tell women how poor I was as a kid and then they would feel sorry for me and I would get sympathy sex.” “Oh really?” I nonchalantly replied as I quickly ran a scan on my memory hard drive. “Yes, one story I told was how we were soooo poor that we could not buy potato chips so my mother would peel a couple of slices off of potato and drop them into the oil so we could have a couple of chips with our lunch.

I started to laugh knowingly. Embarrassed, he asked if he happened to tell me that story too. “Yes, actually you did.” “Did it work on you?”  “No, I recall I told you that I was sorry you were poor and offered to buy you the biggest bag of chips I could find to make up for it.” He laughed” Sometimes, you are just cold.” I just smiled and thought…Not cold, it just took you a little longer to suck me in.

Now I am talking about a lovely man who just happens to be a non-believer. He does not know how to act or think any other way than the flesh. If you recall I just asked him if he had met anyone interesting and I never asked if he was sleeping with anyone. Now I know some of you are thinking but I don’t know those kinds of men. I only know GODLY single men who would never play games. But just because you found yourself a single “Christian” man doesn’t mean anything until he repeatedly proves it by his actions. Don’t be so naive to think that some Godly men aren’t tossing a few slices in the oil and calling it Jesus.

I know some single Christian women who cry about not having a man but never venture out to find one. They basically drive to work and back home again. Now unless a man hurls himself onto your windshield how do you expect to ever meet one? It’s impossible. Reminds me of the homebody roommate I had years ago who developed a strange crush on the Dominoes delivery guy.  Yep. Ordered it every weekend for over a year. Big world out there when you decide to participate.

Or what about the single women who continue to throw their lines into a limited pond? You know the ones. They go to church on Sunday, Wednesday and any other day it is open. They attend every conference, talk, or workshop, and all fight over the same 5 single men who are not available because they are also on the hunt and you ain’t her!

Then one day these women start to panic at living life alone and they jump at the first sighting of something that LOOKS Godly. You say well that is certainly not me but then you find yourself putting on something nice and starting to hit the groups you have never been to. You have traded a past life of hitting the bars for a church crawl so you can soberly scope out the available Godly talent. You are determined not to spend one more Holiday alone. You look around the room and observe the pack for a while. You ignore the speaker because you are too busy categorizing every male in the place. Hmmm, married, taken, too old, too young, crazy, weird, homeless, potential stalker, and then you see someone who appears normal and available. You watch from afar and are suddenly mesmerized by how he raises his hands and voice in worship. His left hand is ringless and you are encouraged. He occasionally pauses to flip open his bible and you know the Lord is speaking words of wisdom to him. He is not easily distracted and listens intently to the speakers. Your heart races and you think oh I want a Godly man just like him! One that worships and reads his bible! I can even bring him to conferences instead of going with my girlfriends. We can volunteer together and start a ministry and and and….. Girl wake up. Let me slap you upside your head right now before you get caught up in the trance. As soon as he bags you or his ideal woman he won’t be going to any more conferences. I don’t care how Godly he looks as only time will tell if he is just playing your game. The “I know you all are looking for a Godly man so I will gladly play the part” game. Are all men like this? No. But take the time to check it out. Just sayin.

Next time you spot someone new take a breath and pause before you get all tingly because he appears to be the man you have been waiting for. Or stop when fear grips you and you feel like you will live the rest of your days alone. So ALONE that you will probably lie dead on the floor for days with your face half eaten away by your 8 cats before anyone thinks to check on you. Don’t let that fear or panic control you so that you plan to grab the next available guy that comes along just because you are afraid you have no other options.

You shake your head and say that is not me but we all know how it starts…ha! Is he single? Yes? Really? Oh my! Single AND a Christian! This must be the one. I know Papa God said I would meet my mate in church one day. He is kind of cute but I would definitely have to dress him differently and OMGoodness his hair! He does need a woman. I hope he has a job. No? That’s okay we can start our ministry right away. What? He does? A good job? Yay, God! DING DING DING DING DING!!!!! Winner Winner Chicken Dinner! Now I KNOW he is the one. Why else would God have me come here on this particular night AND me having a good hair day? Single, Christian, and a job! Yes, I could definitely make this work!!!!!

Slow down Ruth and wait for your Boaz. God may have some work to do on him yet. Or worse yet maybe some work to do on you. Gasp! Be open to being led by God, even if it means having to get out of your house, church, or nearest revival center to do it. There just might be some lovely man out in the world who isn’t quite a Christian yet. Remember you weren’t always quite the believer you are now. Or it might be someone you would never think would be your type. Or someone you already met or see on a regular basis and I am not talking about the pizza guy. Might be someone who would be perfect for you if you just gave him half a chance to prove he is or could be the Godly man you always hoped for.

Beep!

Last week I was awakened at 5 am by a loud BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Oh crap. That’s an alarm! I crawled out of bed and turned on the light in my hallway to check my Carbon Monoxide detector. Hmmm looks normal. Smoke detector? Nope. I literally have one eye open as I continue to wander around my house looking for the noise. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I suddenly remember an old detector in my bedroom behind a clothes rack.

I pull it out of the wall and see an ERROR symbol. False alarm. Oh good, I can go back to sleep. I sit down on my bed and start yanking on the wires. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Aggghhhh! I have no idea what to do and those suckers are like welded on. How do I disconnect this? My head is pounding and I just want the noise to stop so I start looking through my house for a scissors to cut the wires. I take the sharpest pair and am now trying to cut through every wire. It’s like trying to dismantle a bomb! Nope. These babies are tough! I don’t even think a Ginzu knife could do the job. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Frustrated, I want the noise GONE so I walk to the back door to throw it outside. Duh? Jeanne it is 5 am! Your neighbors don’t want to hear that noise either.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Lord! Aggggh!!!! How can I get this to stop? “Put it in the freezer.” “Huh? That won’t work.” “Yes it will.”

So I toss it in the freezer, close the door and crawl back into bed. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Lord this is not going to work! Yes. it will. Just be patient. I continued to toss and turn for another 5 minutes. All of a sudden I hear…..BEEP! pause… Beep! pause …… beep pause and then bee…. And just like that, my poor little CO detector was frozen to death. Ha! I forgot all about it until tonight when I was digging in my freezer. I think this weekend, I am going to try to thaw it out to see if it will come back to life. Yes. My first dead raising.

Well Peeps. That is your single woman’s handyman tip of the day! Freezers. They’re not just for Pizza any more.

Plant Parent

Many years ago, I belonged to a large church and there always seemed to be someone promoting their kid’s school fundraiser. I bought a live plant arrangement but didn’t pick it up for two weeks. Of course, by then, it was almost dead, and the parent told me she would refund my money. Nah, that’s okay, I told her and planned discreetly to discard it on my way out.

I then saw an older couple with their 40-something son, Billy, who had recently gotten out of treatment. He had moved back in with them and they were concerned, as he was extremely depressed. He felt like a huge loser who would never redeem himself in life because he had wasted so much of it with drugs and alcohol. The couple had asked us to pray for Billy, as he spent most of his day in bed, and they were afraid he was suicidal.

I smiled and waved as I passed them by and God said, “Stop and give Billy the plant. Tell him I want him to bring it back to life.”

I thought, Nah!. Why would God want me to give this depressed guy a dead plant? God persisted and whispered, “trust me”, so I finally turned around and handed it to Billy. “Yes, I know this is weird, but God told me to give you this plant and that you would bring it back to life.” Billy laughed, ” You mean resurrect it?” ” I smiled. “Yes. I’m serious.” I laid my hands on him and said a prayer for healing, and then I left.

A month later, I ran into this same family again after church. I was so glad to see a happier Billy, who was also sporting a new haircut and a sharp buttoned-down shirt. “Hey, Jeanne! I saved that plant you gave me and I now have it sitting in my bedroom window.” I thought he was kidding and figured the plant had died the next day. But as Billy wandered off to get coffee, his mother told me he tended to that plant every day. He was so touched that God had spoken to me about him, he was taking the responsibility seriously. She said she watched as he came out of his depression because he now had something to put his focus on other than himself.

God brought this memory back to me yesterday. I got teared up all over again. God is so amazing. He can take something so simple and heal through it. He can work through anyone and that means you and me! Next time you feel like God is asking you to do something “odd” feel stupid and do it, anyway. You might just be planting a seed or literally helping to bring someone back to life.